The One-Floor-Elevator-Riders... damn them all to Hell!!!

Oh we have all been there... in a rush to get to a big meeting on the top floor, when all of a sudden you encounter one of the most annoying breeds of office workers: The One-Floor-Elevator-Rider.

He/She gets on for a one-floor ride. It takes more time for the damn doors to open and close then open again then it would take the idiot to walk up one flight (and I'm not talking about the handicapped or injured... I'm talking about the lazy-banana-clip-wearing ass who thinks this is ok to do).

I had encountered these types before in my dorm. I lived on the top floor and took the elevator up (it was the 4th floor... but still). There was this one girl who lived on the 2nd floor who ALWAYS got in and rode up with me, it never failed. She would turn to me and say, "I just got back from band practice and am so tired." making an excuse for her actions. I just smiled and noddded. How did she expect me to act? Say how I really feel, "You lazy ass... you walked the 2 miles from the practicing field and can't manage 16 steps or so? YIKES!"

These are not things I would say to an annoying peer, so as you can imagine I'm not going to say them to someone who could get my ass fired. Hee! But I do have fantasies of pulling random hairs from the backs of their heads when they aren't looking.

Please please please... if you have learned nothing from me about corporate life, please take this piece of advice and hold it near and dear to your heart and brain... NO. ONE. FLOOR. RIDES!!! Some of us (ME) have to be on their feet all day and are usually in a hurry. You slow me down ass wipe! Rule of thumb (odd saying... but nevertheless...): if it is ONE floor... walk! if it is TWO floors... WALK! If it is 3+ floors, it is acceptable to ride. Please remember this. And if you ever happen to be in an elevator and feel a little pinch in the back of your head... don't worry, it's just me ;-)