Javier.... meow

Let me tell you about my loves.... cats! I literally am the cat lady with no cats. My friends have cats that I consider my own. I ask about how they are doing when I talk to my friends on the phone... and at times I insist on having the phone put to the cat's ear so I can speak.

Deranged... I am aware.

I can't help it. What makes someone fall so deeply in love with these little creatures? I had friends w/ dogs growing up. Hell, my family even has a dog. But I've never grown quite as attached as I have these cats. Let me list my favorites (in no particular order):

1. Bella
2. Mica
3. KC (AKA Pookie)
4. Javier

But for the sake of all things that will bore you to death... let me just tell you about the joy that is Javier.

His full name (as sad as it is...) is Javier Richard Nemo Pie LaMont Dalian-Scussel. That's right... Javier has two moms!!! No, Charisse (his owner) and I are not lesbian lovers, but we do co-parent this little darling (please see post following this for his picture). Wow, I'm using too many parenthetical side notes... sorry.

Javier was an impulse purchase. I know no one thinks that they will just be out shopping and purchase a kitten on a whim... but that is exactly what Charisse did. Only, she was on a break at work when it happened. She has another cat Bella, and right next door to her work was a pet store, so she decided to wonder in to buy a few treats for Bella (new toys that she will never play with, etc). Inside, to her chagrin, were 5 little kittens running around the store. 5 minutes later I get a call from her proclaiming, "I just bought another cat... come make sure he is the cutest one."

I did, and he was.... the little darling needed a name. We were hanging out at her work w/ this new baby on the counter (hygiene was not our main concern for this eye-glass retailer shop). We were throwing out ideas for names... none were very good (C wanted to name him bruiser... like the dog from Legally Blonde, which I promptly vetoed). Then came our favorite topic... "Felicity". As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of the show! I wasn't a fair-weather fan like some of you during the hair-cutting incident. I stuck by and fought through the pain of looking at her practically bald.
And so, I said, "What about Ben?"
C: "Noel?"
C and Me: "Javier"

.........pause.........

"YEAH!!" we named this little thing after a short, stocky, bald, gay, Spaniard from a WB television show.

And a few little things about Javier:

Javier frequently plans the assassination of the turtle.

If Javier were a human, I imagine that he would look like the kid from "Love Actually" who learns to play the drums... awww.

Javier likes men more than women... which should speak for itself.

Javier got fleas when he was little and had to be washed in special soap... and I think his self esteem was ruined from the non-stop laughter that ensued after C and I saw him wet, like a rat.

Javier likes to bite, and never learned the fundamentals of play-biting... just break the skin/knaw off your finger biting.

Javier was once forced to poop on the my roommates bathroom floor (because we didn't have a litter box for him). Poor baby.

Javier likes to meow really loud in the morning, just to make sure you are aware of him being cute...

The vet felt around his rib cage and said.... "Whoa". Javier is now on a diet. But he just eats more of the diet food, so I think it is all evening out.

Javier likes to lay on everything... He does not like the printer and is offended whenever you print something out. He promptly crumples it as it prints... bad kitty!

My dad calls him the Gay Cuban Cat...

*************** Now a little about Bella***************
Bella is a lap cat... but she crys when you try to touch her when she doesn't want to be touched.

Bella has seasonal depression... we are looking at getting her some Prozac.

Bella once wanted to join the army, but then Gary told her, "That's ridiculous." and the conversation ended.

Bella particularly likes Charlotte from Sex and the City.... she has been heard to have called Samantha a "dirty whore." <-- Javier thinks Samantha is the shit!

Bella once fell into the toilet when there was pee in it. We don't talk about that incident anymore...

We call her Ma'am because she is very snooty at times.

Bella escaped, but then didn't know what to do. She crawled through the screen and was sitting outside by the window when C came home from work. Bella was just chillin' like a villian.

She responds when C skweeks, "You... Me... Bed please."


Not that you care... but I thought I'd share. He is the cutest little thing and I wanted to get all you cat-haters (DAD!!) out there to realize that these little things are the best pets to have!!! Not only is there NO potty training, you can leave them at home for a few days by themselves as long as you leave out plenty of food and water, they like to cuddle, they know when you are sad and sit by you when you cry, they are small enough to carry and handle when they are not wanting to go to the vet, they don't drool (with the exception of Chill's cat Pookie), and they are the cutest things when they play.

So to all you dog-lovers out there.... consider that!

~Peace~