Cubicle Etiquette...

Well hello my lovelies!!! I've missed you. Actually, I haven't, but I thought I'd be nice ;-). So today let's talk about cubicle etiquette...

Once upon a time, there was a surly gal named Lisa... And she worked in an office (similar to that of Inatech), mmmmmm k? She was becoming annoyed with the higher-ups in offices around her. Her surroundings, yes, are cramped, but she and other lower-bottom-dwellers make due by keeping their tone to a reasonable level. However, the office trolls sitting near her say to themselves, "Why yes, I do have a door... But I'd rather carry on w/ it open and talk and a hideous level about my child and how he had to come home from school yesterday because of the diarrhea squirts." Mmmmm tasty w/ Lisa's morning bagel and coffee.

I just don't understand the logic of wanting to broadcast that sort of information. I mean, it is obvious that the kid got the squirts from something YOU gave him to eat the night before because you are too obnoxious to make him a healthy meal at home or monitor what he is putting into his mouth. Sorry... Had to get that out. But I digress...

Let us go over a few office etiquette offenders that are sure to be present in your office setting, especially when there are some lower-bottom-dwellers that have to settle for cubes near:

You mean the office is not my personal boudoir? Work time, grooming time, what's the difference? That seems to be the attitude of those who clip their toenails at the desk, brush their teeth at the water cooler or catch a little beauty rest whenever they get the chance. PLEASE STOP!!! Go home early, or go to bed early, or go to the bathroom and sleep for a quick 15 mins in the stall (like I do) when you get sleepy (hee hee hee!!). Nothing worse than having your boss walk by midway through your head falling from it's resting place (your arm) onto the keyboard w/ a "THUD".

Phones are meant for fighting. There's nothing more refreshing than hearing a co-worker yell at a client, parent or spouse, preferably using language that would make Howard Stern blush (please note sarcasim here). Add bonus points when mortifying personal details are thrown around (diharrea story).

Plan-Scheduling-Time. Some people consider work an interruption in their day.
No sooner do they arrive than they are on the horn planning weekends, weddings, or trips; or resolving crushingly dull personal issues with friends and family. Try getting their attention for say, work, and they'll either give you a blank smile, implying falsely that they'll be right with you, or they'll simply shoo you away as if you're interrupting their attempts to negotiate world peace. Believe me... I just LOVE it when I've trucked up 3-4 flights of stairs to see if a project has been looked at that I dropped off w/ the person 2 hours ago... and they are STILL on the same call when I left planning their trip to Chilis... "...should we go to the one in Warren or Bloomfield Hills? What about the one in the LIV off 8 and Haggerty, I heard they have good Chicken Crispers." <-- IT IS THE SAME DAMN FOOD YOU MORON!!! NOW LOOK AT THE PROJECT NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOU OVER THE HEAD W/ IT!!! (wow... got me out some aggression there...) What?! I can't hear you I'm talking so loudly. There's so much to say at work and so many decibels at which to say it. Some coworkers regularly opt for the ear-splitting ones.
If you weren't hearing-impaired before you met them, you're on your way. Let's use our indoor voices please....


And now... the solutions. What can you do about it? NOTHING. That's right, the big ol' goose egg. Remember... you are still a lower-bottom-dweller w/ no say. But that's ok... just make sure you put the new cover letters on your TPS reports... mmmmm K?


~Adios Muchachos~