Office supplies

What is it about office supplies that gets me excited to the point of giddiness?

I don't like working in an office... I don't get that inthralled by receiving new things... but why office supplies? I can only imagine it relating to childhood...

Let's reference a little pop culture shall we... an advertisement nontheless. Remember the Staples commercial where the dad is riding the shopping cart, very excited and the kids are following slowly behind, heads down while the voice over says "There going baaaaaack"? That was never me. Sure I was sad to see summer end, but I was always happy when the new school year came around. Why? School supplies!!! For some reason, I loved 'em. New Bic pens, mechanical pencils, the cushy pencil grips, rulers, Crayola crayons (the big box w/ the built in sharpener), notebooks, little cutesy folders w/ pictures of kittens or puppies on them, and my all time favorite... trapper keepers! Yes Trapper keepers were the shit back in the day. The kept everything in place. It was like a little locker carried around everywhere you go. I think I had some sort of Jungle themed one, who knows why... but dude, it was frickin' amazing. Every year I would get new stuff, despite the fact I had plenty of the previous years supplies sitting in a box in my closet (ok... I'm spoiled... but come one... office supplies!!!).

Now when I was given an OfficeMax catalog at work to peruse, it was like I was a kid in a well-organized and 3-hole punched candy store! I was able to order whatever I wanted, on the company dime. Now I didn't order everything I so desired, or else I'd have some top of the line Lay-Z Boy reclining office chair w/ built in foot rest... but I did get some essentials. Office supplies have come a looooooong way from when I was a child. No, no Crayola this time... (sidebar... how boring is it that I'm doing an entry on office supplies??? O-well... carry on...) I did get those great colored Post-It tab things, which I adore. I also got some cool folders and binders (no trapper keepers... boo!) as well as a sweet-ass calculator. If you knew me... you'd know I am terrible w/ numbers. Calculators are a necessity.

I just get so much joy from office supplies. If you don't give a rat's ass... well, then I'm going to take my new Swingline Stapler and beat you to death with it!

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Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... "