INSOMNIA THEATRE ... sleeping is for suckers!!!

2007-08-06T14:48:00.000-05:00

sleep

2007-08-01T14:19:00.001-05:00

2007-06-26T14:07:00.001-05:00

2007-06-22T15:12:00.001-05:00

2007-06-22T09:29:00.000-05:00

Out

2007-06-04T10:08:00.001-05:00

Gus 2

2007-05-15T10:58:00.000-05:00

Kitty

2007-05-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

Awwwwww Gus is so cute!

I'm bored

2007-02-22T16:03:00.000-05:00

Hello... sorry I've been gone for a bit.

Busy busy

But now I'm pretty bored, so I wanted to chat. So, you want to know what I've been up to? No? Well too bad, I'll tell you anyways.

Since Thanksgiving, I've been hanging out in my new apt w/ my little kitty GUS. He is so cute, I have totally turned into one of those cat people who have their cat picture as the background on their computer and phone. Haha... he's cute, so o-well.

X-mas came and went. I spent a lot of $$$... and that's about it for that...

We had to put the family dog down (Tami) because she suddenly went paralyzed from the waist down. It was very sad... I miss her a lot.

Lets see... what else, what else.... I am still working at the same job.

OH! I started working on my book. I have written about 10 pages so far... but I deleted most of them hahaha. I need to get focused and get to work on it. I was browsing the recommendations Amazon.com gives me, and by reading the descriptions, I think to myself, come on... I can do this.... if these people get their stories published w/ the same lame plot lines, my lame plot lines can sure make it too. I just have to chant that to myself everyday...

Ummmmmm, yeah.... nothing real new. I have been doing a lot of reading... watching too much TV, like usual.

OK... guess that is it for the update. I hope to be back more now that I have a little more free time.

Hope you are thankful...

2006-11-29T10:51:00.000-05:00

Happy late Thanksgiving!

I actually had a great time. I flew to San Francisco with my family to visit my sister and brother in law... and their crazy-eyed dog Sadie.

As I had mentioned before, I was pretty sick when I left. The day before I got on the plane, the doctor told me I shouldn't fly and should basically have gone to the emergency room. Shows how much I take orders from doctors. I got on the plane, i flew across the country, and ended up having a great time.

I just love the air out there in Cali. It is so clean and wonderful smelling. Ok... I am talking about Northern Cali... not the smog-filled LA. We had pretty decent weather. The day after thanksgiving, the whole family went to Napa Valley and went on a few winery tours. I DID purchase a nice bottle of sparkling white zin. Delic!

I feel like crap

2006-11-20T13:06:00.000-05:00

I'm having one of those days where I just feel like the bottom of a frickin shoe.

I can't breathe, i'm coughing up a lung... Ehhhhhhhhhhhh

Happy Birthday to my Steff!!!

2006-11-07T17:17:00.000-05:00

Happy 26th Birthday Steffanie Marie. Can't believe you are that old! Hope you have a wonderful day...

p.s... your card is in the mail

Hahahaha sorry... this picture is funny, had to add it!

Meet Gus......

2006-11-06T10:42:00.000-05:00

This is Gus....

He likes to play when I'm trying to get a cute picture of him....

Don't mind the scary person behind him... he just likes to snuggle....

Shhh... one of the rare moments he is asleep.....

He LOVES to pur... i don't think I've heard him stop rurring yet, except when he really falls into a deep sleep.

If I saw THIS while out trick-or-treating...

2006-10-27T14:27:00.000-05:00

I'd be scared out of my mind.... hahaha

This is how I feel today...

2006-10-25T10:02:00.000-05:00

Woof...

Fun for all ages

2006-10-20T10:53:00.000-05:00

Remember this game? I seriously just thought of it randomly today.

I miss the old time games. Those were such good times. Your biggest worry was who you were going to invite to your sleepover...

Being a kid was so great, but at the time I remember being so dissatisfied with the status quo, wanting more out of life. I sat there playing yet again with my mountain of Barbies and dreamed about being older. Driving a car, having money, etc.

Well... i can drive, but thats about it. hahaha.

Damn though, sometimes I wish we could all go back for a day and just relax being a kid again.

Today would be a good day for me....

When they make a film about my life story...

2006-10-18T17:07:00.000-05:00

... I'm getting Bryce Dallas Howard to play me.

Look how pretty she is!

Holy shit....

2006-10-18T15:54:00.000-05:00

Bob Saget got his own game show, ala Howie Mandel

It's on after Deal or No Deal... must watch!!!!

1 vs. 100

New Shows

2006-10-18T14:23:00.000-05:00

You all know I am a big TV addict. However, now that I am in my new apt, I have a DVR (that records 2 shows at once) AND my Steve-o the TiVo. My TV consumption is getting out of control.

I'm going to lay out my new/old favorite shows.. maybe you'll want to watch them along w/ me:

LOST
Ok... this show needs no picture (well blogger wouldn't let me upload any more... oh well). I cannot BELIEVE the season 3 premier. I literally flipped my shit. Everything has changed. I'm not going to say too much about it since my sister has decided to come to her senses and begin watching LOST, from the beginning. I hope she catches up soon. Others (hahaha) don't know what they are missing. Some people (who will remain nameless) think it is "Gilligan's Island: The Drama". As any LOST fan can attribute... that is far from the truth. But, in keeping this brief, season 3 has begun w/ a bang!

Grey's Anatomy
Pretty good season 3 so far.... though I think it would be difficult to top the last few episodes of season 2. Those were the shit. Someone's face went up in flames, which was exciting. Meredith slutted about (haha but she is single, she can date whomever she pleases). I was so happy when Addison got what was coming to her. Granted, McDreamy shouldn't have gotten back with her to then cheat on her... but I guess it is true what they say about karma... it's a bitch. I hope Izzy comes back. We'll see what happens I guess.

Oprah
I don't know what to say. I love her, I really truly do... but this season, I don't know. I guess I'm disappointed. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the Oprah and Gayle's Big Adventure. Pure genius. The way Oprah and Gayle interact in the car for 8 hours a day driving cross country... hilarious. Gayle sings the whole way, Oprah wants to be quiet with her thoughts. It's nice to see someone disobeying Oprah. Way to go Gayle. hahahaha. I think my favorite point came when Oprah and Gayle were driving across the George Washington Bridge into NYC, and Gayle couldn't see (she didn't have her glasses). Oprah was about to clobber her. Television gold. However, with her normal shows, I hope she steps it up a notch. I don't need any more show with Dr. Oz explaining why my poop is colored the way it is.... seriously. (however, the project RED stuff was cool... if only the GAP didn't sell out in like a day...)

Laguna Beach
Oh holy hell. This shit is ridiculous. Please, season 3 doesn't hold a candle to the Team Kristin years, but it sure is entertaining. I love watching rich spoiled brats in their natural surroundings, picking off the weaklings one by one. What ever happened to that MTV show "Rich Girls"? I miss that shit, i guess this will have to do as a replacement. Cami (pictured on the left) is over the top bitchy. And does she have a right to be (well no one has the right to be, but still)?

Gilmore Girls
I have been a fan of this show for years, and I'm still attached. Season 7 has been good thus far, though I have no clue how it will all end (I think this is the last season... sad). I guess that is the point, huh? I just love everything about this show, especially the obscure references. That is how I write... most people won't get the joke, but if one or two do, it is hilarious. Luke better get his ass in gear and get Lorali back. And for some reason, call it intuition... but I think Jesse will make his way back and get Rory. I'm not a huge Logan fan. Overall, this is a great show, I just hope their last season will do the legacy justice (note to self... I'm talking about a TV series... keep it light)

What About Brian
Oh this is a great show... but it should be, produced by none other than JJ Abrams. This guy knows his shit. Felicity, LOST, Alias, Six Degrees (which I'll get to later), has this guy produced anything bad? (p.s... yes.. but it was only once...). If you haven't started watching this show yet... you need to. It is awesome. Open marriages, cheating, trying to get your best friend's fiance, and boring Rosanna Arquette story lines. This is like Felicity post-college. Naturally I'm drawn to it. Watch it, you'll thank me (p.s... again... I missed last weeks episode because my flippin DVR messed up. With ABC doing the whole watch-the-episode-the-next-day-thing... I thought I'd be saved, but they don't have episodes of this show available... I gotta find this on YouTube or something).

Ugly Betty
So, I thought this show would be one of those shows with a nice premise, but probably couldn't sustain one full season due to lack or story ideas. I am wrong. Take note, I'm admitting I'm wrong. This show is so cute. I absolutely am in love with America Ferrara (well, not like THAT). She is brilliant. All the critics love it, I love it, and most importantly, Oprah loves it. Get on board with this Devil Wears Prada-esq show. It's great. The gay assistant to Vanessa Williams is worth the hour alone (plus you are right there by the TV waiting for Grey's Anatomy to start... might as well watch).

America's Next Top Model: Cycle 7
Awesome... enough said!

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip
My new favorite show. I absolutely love it. There is nothing about this show I don't like. It is funny, it has drama, it is creative, it has Matthew Perry, it has great multi-layered story lines, it is fantastic. If you are not watching it, you'd better start before I come to your house, tie you down, and beat you with a stick. Just kidding... I don't have a stick.

Six Degrees
JJ Abrams has done it again. So good. Obviously I wouldn't be talking about it if it weren't good, but this one has so many story lines, and like LOST, they all start to intertwine. I love those kind of shows. Brilliant story planning. Plus, the cast is amazing. I have been surprised by a lot, nothing has really been predictable. We'll see if it can keep it up. I pray the networks don't cancel it early, but it is on after Grey's Anatomy, so I think it will be good to go for a while.

TV shows with honorable mention:

Dancing with the Stars: This season has been pretty good. Emmett Smith has really surprised me, he can shake it. Jerry, however, cannot

The View: Since Rosie has been on, this is one of the greatest daytime shows out there now. Her underhanded bitchy-ness with a smile is wonderous. I forgot how much I have missed her.

Mad About You: Still love this show, still TiVo it... despite it being off the air.

General Hospital: Laura is getting ready to come back!!

ABC has a slam dunk schedule this season...

RED

2006-10-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

So, I bought the most wonderful purse/shoe combo the other day. I just had to. I couldn't resist. Sometimes a girl just needs a little retail therapy to make herself feel better.

And I'm wearing them today! I love it!

(click on the purse to see a better pic... it is way cool)

LINK

Sometimes you just need a break...

2006-09-28T01:35:00.000-05:00

... So I'm back. I guess. I just don't really feel like myself. I mean, of course I'm myself, but I just don't feel like life is the same. I am experiencing some technical difficulties in my life.

Have you ever felt so strongly about something... but just couldn't get the other person to see that things will all work out? That's about where I am now. In limbo... not knowing what is around the next corner. It could be a vase full of beautiful roses, or a punch to the cranium.

I guess the only positive thing to all this is that I started writing out some ideas/rough draft pages/character development to my book. I suppose I can finally say I am writing it. We'll just see how far I get.

I'm also in my new apartment... but it doesn't really feel as I thought it would. Not without him here to enjoy it with me..........

I'm drowning...

2006-09-09T21:10:00.000-05:00

...I feel like I can't breathe. All this emotion is suffocatig me...

... and now we return to your regularly scheduled program

2006-08-31T08:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry about that peeps. I've been a tad distracted. I'm back though :-)

So I have basically decided that I absolutley hate HATE mosquitos. I know, a no brainer statement... but just look, I have like a bazillion of them on my feet/legs from this past weekend. I'm driving myself bananas ("This shit is BANANAS" ~ Snakes on a Plane) itching and scratching like some sort of mental patient. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. I will be sitting at work w/ my leg crossed and just start itching. I've tried so many remedies that I think they have made it worse. Last night I rubbed nail polish remover (why? I don't know) and peroxide on them to see if it would help. Nothing. I'm dying here people. Here, I'll e-mail myself the pic from my phone...

Gross huh? I know. Sorry my foot looks kind of scary because of the shadows and my ugly/comfortable shoes. Whatever. The point is, I feel like complaining because I itch!

Moving on...

So this weekend I celebrated one of my best friend's 23rd b-day (Shout out, Chill!). I had a good/non-sober time. But it made me remember that I'm turning 24 soon. To some of you, that may seem young. But hell... That sounds too old to me. I'd love to stay 22 for a while. I'm one more year away from being 25 wich is 1/2 way to 50!!!! Not good. But never the less, I'll share a few pics with you:

Ok... well I've got to be going now. I'm heading to TX tomorrow to go to the coolest waterpark immaginable! I will update w/ pics when i get back on monday!!! Yeeeha!

I'm good enough... damnit!

2006-08-15T10:20:00.000-05:00

If I have learned one thing in my 23 years of existence (besides how to walk, I guess), it is that you have to be OK with who you are... no matter what.

Of course everyone has things about themselves that that that would change if given the chance... some may even be working toward those changes, which is great, but that still doesn't negate the fact that he or she should feel whole...with or without those changes.

Growing up I have always had beautiful friends. I don't know why... it just always happened that way. They are beautiful, not just on the inside, but outward as well. Now don't get me wrong... I have been called beautiful myself... I just don't have as many "marketable" features as some of my friends do. It used to bother me, but over the years I have become OK with the fact that I don't look like them. I have even embraced my individuality. I like the fact I look more... original (I guess) than most.

But like I said in the beginning, EVERYONE has things about themselves they want to change. I, myself have a list... a small list, but still. Not all of them are physical things I'd like to change (like I want to become more brave. I want to take chances without thinking of all the logical reasons why I shouldn't do something). But a big item on my list is a physical one. I would love to lose some weight. I haven't always had that wish, but in the last few years, I have wanted it more. Which is why I began working out with a personal trainer last year. I have loved it. Yes I have written on here about it over time, and they haven't always been happy things I've said...

Let me clear something up before I move along any further. I love having the personal trainer... I do NOT love working out. Some people just don't. It is a fact. But having the appointment keeps me going (knowing if I don't show up they will charge me).

While I did have some results... they weren't as grand as I had hoped. Thought I haven't dropped much weight, I have gained a LOT of strength, increased my endurance, and many other positives that I try to focus on. I have gone to see a few doctors to see why the weight hasn't been coming off. I believe my thyroid hasn't been working properly, but it has not yet been proven. Lately I haven't been trying as hard in regards to my eating habits, which I know is part of it. However, I in no way am eating the way I used to. I have modified things recently and feel like I'm headed back down the right path, but still, I don't see anything. It is frustrating.

While I am not going to quit trying (because EVERYONE, no matter how healthy you are, needs to eat right and work out), I have to become OK with myself again. If for some reason this is just how it will stay, I have to be OK with that. I refuse to modify my life. I refuse to feel like I am not good enough because some people think I need to change. I am a healthy person. I work out more than 90% of Americans. I eat healthy (and will try to do so more often). I am beautiful. And I have a bright future ahead of me. I will succeed no matter what (whether it is some how finding a way to get the weight off, or to accept myself the way I am while still working out and eating right). The true people who are meant to surround me in my life will stay. Others may leave, but I know who I am and I know what I'm worth.

Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Let the nay sayers mutter to themselves under their breath, but don't pay any attention. What YOU think matters... what THEY think doesn't :-)

(lather, rinse, and repeat this to yourself in the morning)

The View makes life worth living

2006-08-02T15:52:00.000-05:00

Too funny not to share... Watch Elisabeth Hassel-I'm-a-nobody-reality-star-beck freak the eff out! Priceless!!

Part One: Freak out...

Part Two: She tries not to get fired!

Open letter to Mel Gibson...

2006-08-02T10:04:00.000-05:00

Dear Mel~

Good luck to ya!

Adios!

~Me

I'm ready to move.... on

2006-08-01T09:05:00.000-05:00

I am ready to move on. I have done a lot with the last 23 years of my life that have prepared me for the real world ahead. I have graduated. I have secured myself a good job... but I know there is something bigger out there for me...

... It is finally time to take control and move forward. I have been "waiting" for my life to start for so long. I don't mean that I haven't had a life thus far. I have. I have had a great life filled with fun, excitement, change, sadness, and love. What I mean by "waiting" to start my life is that I feel as if I am still not an adult. Sure, I'm mature (most of the time) and have responsibilities... but I have not began what I imagine my life to eventually become. Does that make sense? Probably not.

I have always imagined myself living in a big city, where I can walk to my local coffee shop and sit in a big comfy chair and write. Just write all day long. And read :-) Of course I had to add some of that in there. Sure I could do that here in Michigan... and I have for some of my freelance writing assignments. But I am referring to real writing. Meaningful stuff that I WANT to write, not just getting paid to.

I want a book tour, I want to travel, I want to sign my name to something I am proud of. I want to read reviews in the New York Times celebrating my achievement. I want to go to the movies and in the opening credits see "Movie based on novel by Lisa Marie Dalian". I want all those things. However, what have I done thus far to move toward them? Nothing. Well not nothing. I have been practicing my craft and getting side jobs to write. But I haven't buckled down to do it. I know you have read me complaining about my lack of motivation to start before. How do I break this cycle?

Well my first step is to move out. I moved back home with y parents after graduation since I wasn't making very much money to start. While I am still not making all that much, I feel it is time to move on. I think if I am on my own, I will feel more independent and will feel motivated to get a move on in my life. Who knows if this will work... it is all speculation at this point.

Bottom line is... I need a change. Everyone I know has something big happening in their lives. Many of my closest friends are going on to even higher education; getting their masters, going to med school, dental school, and everywhere in between. My sister just got married. Another close friend is engaged and just bought and moved into their new house. Where am I? Sure I graduated from U of M and have a job. Why don't I go get a masters you ask? Why? I want to be a writer. You don't need a masters to do that. In fact it would be taking away from the time (not to mention $$$) that I should be writing.

Since I'm not buying a house, getting married, getting engaged, going on to even higher education... I need to find something special for me to be proud of. And I think a move is just what I need right now.

The $$$ is going to be tight... but that's what having a savings account is for. Let's hope this all pays off. My multiple trips to IKEA, Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, and more are going to put me in the hole, but I have a feeling it will all be worth it.

Congrats to the Newlyweds!!!

2006-07-27T13:21:00.000-05:00

Finally! Steff and David are married!

The wedding went off without a hitch (at least to the naked eye). The day started off pretty early, getting our hair done at the crack of I-hate-getting-up-that-early-on-saturdays. I was real nervous about the hair. Humidity and my mane are NOT friends. But that day was lovely, sunny, high 70s, little/no moisture in the air.

We arrived at the hotel suite at 12:30 and chowed down on some Olga's (I think it is just a Michigan chain... but believe me, you don't know what your missing!!). The photographer arrived at 2pm to begin taking pictures of us getting ready and around the grounds. I have seen a few of these pictures and they look absolutely beautiful. I can't wait until they are posted on the photographer's website.

The wedding began at 4pm and was wonderful. Of course I cried during their vows. something about standing behind my sister while she was promising Dave to be with him for the rest of her life was just so moving. I am so honored I could be there for that. One of my Maid of Honor duties during the ceremony was to straighten out her train at any point (oh, and hand her kleenex when appropriate). It was a full mass, so the wedding party was seated for most of the service. That's what made it seem a little awkward when I had to get up and fix her dress a few times. Luckly I didn't trip or something. That would have been sweet :-(

Immediately after the ceremony, the wedding party was supposed to circle around (after exiting down the aisle) and go back into the cathedral (after the guests filed out to go down the hall to the reception). My sister had little bags made for the bridesmaids with our names embroidered on them to carry items like our make up, water, camera, and flip flops for use at the reception. These bags were put in the pews for us to use to touch up our faces before more pictures. After we used them, the wedding coordinator was supposed to take the bags and put them behind the head table so that we wouldn't have to carry them when being announced into the reception.

The DJ informed us that after we are announced in, we would immediately do the cake cutting, then go to the head table to do the best man/maid of honor speeches. After all of that, I went to the head table only to realize our bags weren't there. Not only did I have my flip flops, make up, and camera in there... my speech was in there!!!!!!!!!!!

I was nervous enough already, so I had to tell the DJ to stall. My uncle ran and found the bags, then hopefully had a few words w/ the wedding coordinator. I finally got my speech and read it. I probably only made it through a few lines before I started crying. Luckly my speech was pretty short to begin with (2 mins tops).

It all worked out and we all had a great time. It was a very emotional day for us all. Right now my sister and her new husband are in Hawaii (brats!!) enjoying their 10-day honeymoon. As you can see, I'm jealous ;-)

Thats about it. Hopefully I'll get the professional pics soon so I can share with you.

P.S.... check out my hair! haha

This weekend...

2006-07-19T15:56:00.000-05:00

...is my sister's wedding. I'm pretty excited, but nervous for my speech. Wish me luck!!!

Amish Spring Break

2006-07-14T10:57:00.000-05:00

A short/sorta long story by Lisa Marie Dalian:

*********************

July 1, 2006
Dear Diary:
My name is Emma Yoder. I just turned 16 years old and am currently on Rumspringa break in Cabo San Lucas. If you can’t already tell… I’m Amish.

My parents drove me to the Mexican border in their horse and buggy and dropped me and some friends off. We walked our behinds all the way to Cabo to enjoy our new found freedom of our Amish lifestyle. I am tremendously excited and cannot wait to see what God’s wonderful Earth has to offer us. I plan to keep on my traditional sea green frock and bonnet, so as not to entice the boys to be too wild. I want to give the “English” world a try, but I fear my parents would be disappointed with me, as well as God if I were to do anything wrong… like wear shorts, or take a sip of wine.

We just check into our modest hotel, girls in one room, boys on another floor. Tomorrow I believe we will be going to a magical place called the Hard Rock Café. I am anticipating some good food and a little rock and roll to bob my head to. Farewell and God bless.

July 3, 2006
Dear Diary:
I have discovered cool new music the other night. Rap. People can talk really fast. This one rapper (is that what they are called?) is named Ja Rule. He is really good. I like when he talks about the ladies. However I find it odd that he calls everyone “G”. Maybe his lady friend’s name is Gertrude. Maybe he would call me “E”. I also like the rapper Timbaland. Strange he is named after what you say when trees are falling. He is on a new “track” with a lady singer named Nelly Furtado called “Promiscuous Girl”. I almost gave in to the devil by dancing… some boy came up and asked me to shake my tailfeather, G! I told him I was not a goose, silly (maybe that is where the G comes from… hmmm)

Don’t tell my parents… but I kissed a boy last night. I know, it is a sin… I am not even engaged. However, this boy was very nice. His name is Faaron and he is also Amish. I met him on our walk from the Mexican border to the hotel. We have already discussed marriage after rumspringa is over and we join the Amish church.

Well I have gotta get going… time to buy some new clothes. I assure you it is not because I want to look snazzy or anything… but it is hot down here! I need some new slacks anyways… G.

July 6, 2006
Yo, Diary!
So I have been chillin’ like a villain these past few dayz. Sorry I didn’t write in a bit, but so much shit has been going down.

First off, I got rid of that gold digger Faaron. What a douche and a half. The kid was like all up in my grill. He kept asking me, “Do you looooooooove me”.. and I had to tell him to step off. I’m tellin’ ya, G… after I bought those shorts, I have had all the attention turn to me.

I’ve basically ditched all my Amish friends. They are lame. I mean, take the fucking bonnet off already, we are in CABO! Enjoy! God made bikinis… we should comply w/ his wishes and wear them.

So this new girl Anita, the body shotz girl at Senor Frogs introduced me to come of her friends. I had my eye on one peculiar man, but he left to go to his hotel to bed around 8:30pm. So I hung out with Anita and her friend Rachel. Rachel was talking with this guy selling t-shirts up near the bar the whole night and was so paranoid that Jimmy Fallon was at the bar, that I avoided her completely.

Can’t wait for tomorrow…

July 10, 2006
Diary, G:

So..... I am a winner! I won the wet t-shirt contest at some bar I woke up at around 2:30am. I can’t believe I won, little ole Amish me. It was down to me and Rachel, that chick I told you about before… and I think I won because I had one of the guest judges (Jimmy Fallon… I guess she wasn’t imagining things) rip my thong off.

Morals schmorals.

Remember that guy I mentioned the other night. I guess he is some sort of celebrity too. He caught my eye with the rainbow suspenders and the Scrabble shirt. Turns out he was the 2004 National Scrabble Champion. I couldn’t believe it. So I saw him after the wet t-shirt contest and asked him to towel me off. He burped in my face, which I found odd, yet somewhat erotic. He goes by “GI Joel”, which I was told was a play off a popular kids toy from the 70s and 80s. Who the fuck knows. I tried calling him G, but he was having none of that.

We hung out all morning at the Mexican Starbucks and he showed me how to play Scrabble. I kept putting down the letter “G” alone, or names of rappers, but GI Joel would have none of that. He kept challenging my plays and eventually I got sick of it and threw the board in his face and stormed out.

Maybe Faaron wasn’t as big of a douche after all…

July 23, 2006
Hey…

I am heading back home now. I decided after 3 straight wet t-shirt wins, life could go no where but down. Might as well go live off my parents. I just hope my parents don’t mind the scull and crossbones tattoo I have on my right cheek.

So we ran into a bit of a snafu while trying to cross the border back into the U.S. Apparently our President decided to stand out there himself along the border and make sure no Mexicans got into the U.S. He grabbed one of the security’s mega horn and announced, “We will stop these terrorist killers…. Now watch my backswing”, as he took out his 9 iron and knocked one Happy Gilmore style into Mexico.

July 14, 2007

I woke up from my coma today. They say the golf ball hit me with such force that it knocked me clear into the river. The President sent a card he colored himself.

I haven’t seen my parents yet, but I still have my wet t-shirt trophies. I love rumspringa, G!

"A Fly On The Wall"

2006-07-11T14:33:00.000-05:00

A short story by Lisa Marie Dalian
******************

It is so hot in this Louisiana heat… I need a break. My wings are starting to crack and creak from all this flying around. Air conditioning is what I need.

Up ahead there’s a huge mansion. Surely they have some AC and no doubt a variety of liquid refreshments. My little black body flies me straight into the mansion… following behind some guy in a dirty beater tank carrying a plastic bag from Mobile. I believe I spot some Cheetos! YUM!

Holy shit! The smell traveling behind him is God awful… glad it only took a second or else I could have keeled over from the stench of BO. My appetite for Cheetos is all but ruined. I fly around a bit and decide to land in one of the 100 rooms. One of the benefits of being a fly is the ability to eavesdrop… one of my favorite pastimes, which is why I chose this particular room.

A pregnant lady and her chubby-cheeked 1 and a half year old little baby are present. It seems a bit odd to me that this particular woman is bending over a laundry basket full of dirty men’s clothes, while her baby lay not in a stroller or carrying seat… but simply on his back on the edge of the dryer. An odd place for a baby, I noted silently.

As I observed and listen to the lady lip-sync to a CD playing in the background (I believe it was “Hit Me Baby… One More Time"), my nostrils (do flies have nostrils?!?) flared as I noticed a familiar stench… oh fuck! It was the smelly man again. He is chugging from a 40 of Miller High Life. “Classy,” I think to my little fly self.

He walks up behind her and grabs the back of her white (filthy, I might add) linen dress and pinched her behind. She squeals and jumps forward, knocking her knee into the dryer. She spins around to face the smelly man, and unbeknown to her, the little baby takes a tumble off the side into the dirty basket of men’s clothing. Phew… at least he had something to break his fall. When the lady whips her extensions around, I almost didn’t recognize her… but after a second or two of watching her curse at her husband using air quotes I realized… it was none other than Ms. Britney Spears herself.

Yes, even flies know who Britney is. They swarm around and her smelly husband all day long.

After a lengthy conversation, I overhear what I deduce is K-Fed say, “Baby, yo, why you alwayz be doin’ the paparazzi’s laundry yo?”

Britney replied, “Because, free loader, I am fading fast out of the lime light. I need some kind of attention, and the only way I can keep the paparazzi coming by to take pictures of me doing attention-getting things is to bribe them by doing their laundry. I had to scrub Matt Lauer’s toilets in order to get that damn national TV interview on NBC. He also had me wash his socks during our talk, which was why they were noticeably absent.” After a brief pause, she picked up Sean Preston who was all but suffocating in the stinky paparazzi shirt pile, brushed him off, and slapped him back up on the dryer. I fly closer to hear the rest, landing on top of the washing machine. She then turns back to Kevin, whipping her extensions again (a few falling out) and said, “…and because I’m real like that!”

She stormed out of the laundry room. K-Fed shrugs, probably not understanding half of the conversation that just happened. He reaches above the washer (the stench grows stronger) into the cabinets and retrieves a bottle of Jack Daniels and a shot glass. Why there is alcohol next to the fabric softener, don’t ask me. He stands there, above me, taking a few shotz. When he is finished, I notice him staring down at the washer. He looks like he is staring at me. Oh shit…. You have got to be kidding. It cannot end like this.

I see him reach down, take off his flip flop, hold it over his head (whew… smelly!), and almost as if in slow motion… swats down at me.

SPLAT!

**************************
Disclaimer: please know this story was written in jest. It does not portray actual events in the home of Britney Spears and her slacker husband.

Mean girls...

2006-07-07T12:04:00.000-05:00

Girls really are mean. Guys always wonder why girls automatically hate other girls, especially when we don't even know one another.

But this is why... girls are conniving. It doesn't matter if the guy has a girlfriend or not. Some girls fulfill their self-worth with the amount of guys who think they are hot or that give them attention. Flirting w/ men w/ wives or girlfriends, not caring who they are hurting in the long run... just as long as they get their attention fix/high. I don't understand this concept. I base my self worth on my accomplishments, ethics, friends, family, people who care for me, and my goals for myself. Sure, everyone wants to feel attractive... even me..., but why is that the most important thing to women at this time?

As much as my self-esteam has suffered over the years, I still know what I'm worth, and I don't need to play into someones games in order to feel like I am worth something. I keep telling myself that, but I let those "girls" bother me. And I don;t know why.

I have known that I may never be the prettiest girl in the room. I will never be the skinniest... but I am fun, outgoing, smart, and (i think) pretty. I am not the type of girl you fuck in the back room at some party... I'm the girl you marry and spend the rest of your life with.

However, many men today aren't looking for that. They themselves are looking for attention from the hot girl at the bar/party. They are so preoccupied by boobs and blondes that many fail to see the one that is there and has always been there for them.

As much as I hate to admitt it... I am a girl who automatically hates girls before I get to know them. I may be a mean girl in my thoughts... but not in my actions.

Trust...

2006-07-07T11:45:00.000-05:00

... is so hard to feel and maintain...

... sometimes I wish I were a naive person and just blindly trusted everyone. Maybe I'd be able to live a happier life...

... i guess I can only wish for that.

Happy 5th of July!

2006-07-05T10:20:00.000-05:00

Did you have a good weekend? Mine was OK... nothing to write home about. I went out to my cottage with some friends and family and had a good time. After all the fun and lounging in the sun was checked off the TO DO list, we all piled onto our boat and went to find a spot on the lake to enjoy the fireworks. Problem though... out anchor wasn't big enough to hold us down. The wind picked up out of no where and sent us flying into about 3 other boats (who were all properly anchored). I never realized how many dicks live on our lake. They were VERY pissed off that we MADE the wind blow us into them. Luckly we were moving at a snails pace and we could stop to boats from actually touching.

We finally found a shallow area that kept the boat in place (wince the engine was stuck in the sand... nice). The fireworks were great... first ones I have seen this year (since I avoided the Livonia Spree fireworks... and all the tools that came with them, and the Detroit Fireworks... avoided getting shot).

But... ok... I ran into a situation that I'm sure many of you have run into before. We were having all the boat/wind troubles when my mom was driving the boat. My dad kept yelling at her and telling her what to do, etc. However, this was in front of company. I swear... it was like watching a celebrity death match cage fight. Then as soon as the fireworks started, they were quite, acting as if it didn't happen. Ummmmm yeah. It's so weird how parents get sometimes at the strangest moments...

Overall it was a nice time. Hope you like the pictures (to see more check out my Flickr badge at the bottom right)!!!

Lake Columbia!

On the Boat

Smile... cute hat, huh?

Can't tell you how happy I am...

2006-06-30T10:04:00.000-05:00

... that it is almost the looooooong weekend! I plan on chilling out, maxin', and relaxin' all cool....

Catch ya on the flip side!

Thumbs up for the 4th!

She's coming baaaack!

2006-06-28T15:58:00.000-05:00

Not till October... but still!

General Hospital Fans unite!

P.S.... sorry, I'm a dork... but damn I've been watching this show since the 4th grade!

Bachelorette Par-tay!!!!

2006-06-27T11:03:00.000-05:00

I've been waiting to get my pictures back before I posted on this...

Recently, I helped throw my sister a very fun bachelorette party. Hard work and quite a lot of $$$ later, and it paid off. It seemed like everyone was having a great time. One thing I learned about being the organizer and enforcer of these types of events is that it is VERY difficult to be drunk and try to gather up a bunch of drunk girls to hop to different bars. But hey... comes w/ the territory. I had a blast, Steff had a blast (w/ the exception of her 5am puke-a-thon), and it seemed like everyone else was drunk and happy as well.

Success!!! Check below for the fun pictures at my Flickr Badge (below on your right... keeeeeeeeeep scrolling) :-)

I put out fires... alllllllllllllllll over town...

2006-06-27T10:56:00.000-05:00

Watch yo self.........

Cheers..........biatch!

Seacrest is Kathy's bitch

2006-06-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

This past friday I went to see Kathy Griffin perform live in Detroit. Hilarious!

I can't even express how happy I was with this show. I have seen Chris Rock live... I've even seen Jerry Seinfeld live... but nothing compares to seeing Kathy Griffin's off-the-cuff humor. Truly worth every penny I spent.

She covered just about every major topic: her reality show, American Idol, Seacrest, Clay Aiken, Iraq, Detroit celebrities, her parents, Britney Spears, and dun dun daaaaaaaaaaaa... OPRAH!

I was in heaven. I love love love loooooove celeb gossip, so this was right up my comedic alley. She was on-point with just about anything she said. But the thing I love about her is her stand up style. Most comedians have their "bits" with the working worked out... just so. Basically like memorizing a script. But if you have watched any episode of Kathy's reality show My Life On The D-List, you'd see that she just writes down bullet points (about an hour before the show). He comedy is so spur of the moment, which is how you can tell she is really that exceptionally funny in person. She playes off recent events and stories of celeb encounters from her personal life.

One of my favorite stories she told Friday was of her new war w/ Seacrest. Funniest shit! Her original feud with Seacrest was when they presented together at the American Music Awards and he ripped her top off as a sort of "bit", however, she was not informed this would be happening. He claimed it had been planned... but I'd take her word over his anyday! Then, she was fired from E! while he got this new cushy job there... however, recently she was invited to be on his radio show, so she decided to make nice, just kissing his ass to plug the show. He began taking cheap shots at her (talking about her plastic surgery, etc) and she was letting it slide, but then he took it one step too far saying something along the lines of, "How is your sex life? Do you even HAVE a sex life?" She had it and mentioned Teri Hatcher. Genius. He was back peddling so fast. She said she wanted to know about Teri (since Teri had been on Oprah saying Ryan hadn't called her since they were photographed kissing on that beach), and he said he didn't have to answer to her since it was his show. I believe she said something else, then he hung up on her. She couldn't believe it, and since she had about 8 other morning radio interviews after, she made sure to spread the word on the hilarious story. About an hour later, producers from Seacrest's show were calling her telling her to stop telling people he hung up on her. She refused. They said he edited the tapes and now she has no proof that he did. Fortunately, one of her amazing fans got an mpeg of the real interview. I can't find it anywhere, but I'd love to hear it.

It was SUCH a great show!!!!!!!!!

Some nerve...

2006-06-13T14:13:00.000-05:00

"Congratulations! You're doing a fine job following in my footsteps." ~ Tom Cruise to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (about new baby)

.... dick

NOT ready

2006-06-13T13:45:00.000-05:00

So I am currently living in high wedding/engagement season.... and I just realized something... I'm NOT ready for any of that.

Which really suprises me. After my sister got engaged (her wedding is in approx 1 month! Holla!), I really started to feel the pressure, and though she is 2 years my senior, I felt that I was ready for that kind of committment. I wanted the ring, picking out the bridesmaids dresses, picking a venue, thinking of things I would do differently from my sister's wedding (though it will be beautiful, I'm different/have a different style), etc.

Then one of my best friends got engaged a year later (I introduced them... awwwwwww), and while I couldn't be happier for her, I was thrust back into the wanting and feeling like I needed the engagement... immediately, if not sooner.

THEN my cousin got engaged a few month after. Again, I'm happy as can be for her and her fiance, and their new condo... but now my engagement fever had come into full swing. Not only was I feeling the pressure for myself, I had (and still have) family asking my BF why he hasn't proposed yet... not exactly what I would call subtle.

However, I have had quite an "ah-ha" moment, as Oprah likes to call it, these last few weeks. While yes, I still want to get married one day (hopefully before I'm 30), I am NOT in any way ready. I don't want a morgage... I don't want the white picked fence in the suburbs... I don't want the 2.5 kids and dog... at least not yet. I'm sure that one day in the future I will, but I'm only 23. I remember spouting off about how I was anxious to get engaged and all that jazz and people would say, "you are only 23... what's your rush?" I never paid much attention to it, until now. I honestly sat there and asked myself, what is the rush? Do I know for sure what I want at the young age of 23?

I know that I am still growing and figuring things out for myself (life, career, relationship, health, etc). Why complicate my stuggles with planning a wedding? I have to remind myself, it isn;t a race. Whoever gets there first doesn't always win. What matters is that I know myself inside and out and pick the right person to spend my life with. While I believe in divorce as aan absolute last resort (if your life is miserable, don't stay and make your kids/significant other suffer), I don't plan on it coming to that (of course no one does). I want to make sure I make the right decision... not just because everyone else may be ready for a step like that, but because I am ready for a step like that. (Stat... in the U.S. 37% of people who get married between ages 20-24 get divorced....)

It is common sense really, it just takes me longer to catch on I guess.

Guess my perfect ring will have to wait... until I'm ready :-)

I tag YOU!

2006-06-13T13:01:00.000-05:00

Thought this was cute... so I filled it out ;-)

**********************
I AM: tired of people deciphering what the name "suri" means in different languages... dude, it's the kids name, live with it. We are living with "Apple" now aren't we?

I WANT: a nap.

I WISH: I could go back to school and forget this whole "work" nonsense.

I HATE: people who drive slow in the left lane and won't get over when I get up behind them... bastards!

I MISS: Sex And The City.

I HEAR: what I want

I WONDER: if all my work and dreams are for nothing...

I REGRET: not taking full advantage of my college years (grades and partying-capacity)

I AM NOT: Chinese.

I DANCE: everyday... whether anyone is watching or not.

I SING: loudly and often

I CRY: watching Oprah. Damn her for knowing how to get to me!

I AM NOT ALWAYS: confident that my life will turn out how I have planned... but I try not to let it show.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: obsene gestures.

I WRITE: for my soul and to hopefully one day make it my career... oh, and to just make my friends laugh.

I CONFUSE: right from left all the time when I was a kid (and sometimes now when I'm not paying attention... oops)

I NEED: a breast lift because I'm 23 and my gals aren't looking 23.

I SHOULD: be working.....

I START: a budget to curb my spending... but factors out of my control keep me from sticking to it (namely amazon.com, target, old navy, etc...).

I FINISH: the last of the juice and put the carton back in the fridge

I TAG: you!!!

Mascot!

2006-06-12T15:09:00.000-05:00

Wow... THIS is hilarious...

I have to say, this Mascot job seems like a pretty good gig

New features added

2006-06-09T08:32:00.000-05:00

I've been busy... well I've also had a lack of things to write. Everytime I had time and began to write something, I would think it was stupid and inevitably delete it. Instead I decided to try to add a few new features to my blog. If you look on the sidebar and scroll down, you'll see. I think one of the features it pretty sweet! Check out the video player playing the video "Beat It". Love love love Jackson back in his prime. Plus... I know the beat it dance.

Enjoy!

I'm baaaaaaaaack... from vacation!

2006-05-19T15:37:00.000-05:00

Oh wow, I had so much fun!!! Check out some of my pictures, or my flickr account at the bottom of the page. Enjoy!

Carnival Valor

My stateroom... kinda cozy (... small)

Trail the ship leaves...facinating huh?

Cute little swan!

Water in the Bahamas... crystal clear!

Sunset off the back of the ship

Sun starting to set

Fun w/ the stingrays

St. Thomas... look at that view!!!

St. Thomas. I will be moving in soon ;-)

You guessed it... another shot of the ship

Lido Deck... where we spent most of our time.

Look at all the pretty lights.

Megan's Bay, St. Thomas...the best beach in the world! (in my opinion)

Table 108... we didn't know these people when we sat down, but we did when we left!

Dinner time

St. Maarten

Nassau, Bahamas (sorry, these are a tad out of order)

Bahamas

Beach shot... Bahamas

Getting drunk...

I don't look very sober, do I?

Peeps from table 108 in the club...

Getting our luggage to go home... sad :-(

Takin' a Cruise...

2006-05-05T08:11:00.000-05:00

....Bon Voyage!

Updates

2006-04-26T10:38:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I know, I haven't been around in a while, but I have had a lot going on, plus you all know how I get lazy. hee hee... sorry!

I'll try to do better. This is why I am writing an updates post, so that y'all know what is going down in my town... and with me. Shall we proceed?

Trip to San Fran:
Was very fun. I got to just hang out with my sister, her fiance, and their little cruiseazy dog Sadie. She got very attached to me. Everytime I sat down, she had to be all up in my grill, laying in the crease of my leg when I sat on the couch.
Like here:
(p.s... those are my pajama pants... I don't normally walk around looking like a circus character!) But I do have to say, I sort of miss her and her crazy ways. The weather basically blew the entire time I was there. I had one good day where I could lay out, and get burned. But it was worth it. I got to hang out with some of my sis' friends as attempting to once again, find the Full House house. No luck. If anyone actually KNOWS where the damn house is located, please let me know. It is killing me. As God as my witness, I will find this house before Steff's 4 years in San Fran is up (man, sounds like she is doing time doesn't it? hahaha).

Career:
Nothing new to report, still at my same job.

Writing:
Continuing to work on my freelance pieces, and surprisingly have been commissioned to write more. I guess a little extra cash never hurt anyone. I do want to begin working on my book soon, but I have been having trouble figuring out the right environment that is condusive to my best creative writing abilities. I will probably begin 'bucks-ing it up since I like the dull roar that the coffee franchise produces. I'm hoping this summer I can really begin sinking my teeth into it. Since I have had so much travel recently as well as my sister's wedding stuff, it has been hard to find a weekend to sit down an committ. Sounds like a lot of excuses doesn't it? Well, tough. I have a hard time to saying "no" on the weekends, or even during the week for that matter. I want to be included in everything.

Britney Spears:
Yes folks, it is sad to say, she is preggers again. I know! That was my reaction too! No more spawns of K-Fed need to be produced... 4 is TOO many. How come her has 4, but someone as hot as George Clooney has none??? Explain that to me.

TV Shows:
I am almost caught up from my long weekend away. It is a lot of work watching as much as I do... It's like a full time job.

Book:
I just finished a few, I'll have to write a review soon.

Pictures:
I have updated my picture thing on Flickr, go check it out!!!

Upcoming vacation:
I leave for my 7 day cruise to the Carribean in a week and a half. I cannot wait! It has been a while since my last cruise, so I am anxious to get back on one of those ships, kick back, and LEGALLY drink. hahahaah. The last cruise for me was when I was a senior in HS (a mere 5 years ago).

Shopping/Book addictions:
I have a severe problem. As of late I have contracted a lasrge shopping problem, and this time it is not just books! I have been shopping every weekend non-stop for the last month. I can't even tell you how much I have spent, but sufice it to say that it has not been pretty. Measures will have to be takes, rehab will need to ensue (after my vacation of course!), and a budget will need to be held into place.

Well, that is it for now. I will leave you be.

Diet Mountain Dew...

2006-04-26T10:33:00.000-05:00

... has no effect on me. No matter how tired or not tired, the caffeeine does absolutely nothing. Same goes for coffee. I believe that in order for me to feel very awake (w/ the exception of getting a good night of rest) would be to basically take speed. Of course I would never do that. I'm just saying....

Do the Dew, Man!!!

Leaving on a jet plane...

2006-04-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving today to head back out to CA to see my sister. FUN!

San Fran is a fun place, but I've seen it all before. Hopefully this time we will find the REAL "Full House" house. Bob Saget will be proud.

I absolutely hate flying. I just don't like the whole "process". I know all the security is necessary, and in this day and age, I wouldn;t want to fly without it. But damn... it is a lot. I also just hate the coach seats. They may as well make them out of nails for the comfort level they provide. I just feel dirty sitting there, most likely hot because the air vent is broken or won't turn my way. I also end up sitting next to someone w/ some sort of hygine or mental problem. It never fails.

I should be getting out there around 9:30pm PST (12:20am EST... look, the math!) so I'll be pooped.

Sorry this is boring...... i'm gonna go now. I'm making myself tired.

Bon Voyage!

Lazy ass...

2006-04-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

Yep... that's me. Sorry peeps, I've been busy. No, that's a lie... just lazy. I have started to write something about a dozen times, then I just X out of the screen, not feeling like finishing my thoughts. I haven't really had much to say, and this post I guess won't be THAT entertaining. Since I am being boring lately, I thought I'd pass on a funny story that I got on an e-mail. Enjoy!

Story from an engaged man...

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me ... it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me jus t once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test..... we couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!"

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

TiVo has ruined me!!!!!!

2006-03-22T13:50:00.000-05:00

Honestly... I thought I watched a lot of TV before TiVo... boy was I mistaken. Now that I can basically tape anything anytime I want and not have to worry about working out the details of when the show is actually on, my TV consumption has increased exponentially. It has allowed me to view some of the great new shows that are out there, as well as some tried and true favorites (Oprah, holla!). Since I am bored, I will go through some of the new shows I like (or new seasons of shows that are on). Y'all know I watch General Hospital and Oprah on a daily basis... no need to explain those. Ok... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're off:

America's Next Top Model
Wow... great show. I didn't start getting into this UPN show until I saw an all day marathon of the 3rd season on VH1 (damn you VH1 and your all day marathons!!!). I watched the whole "Cycle 5" season satisfied w/ the winner. Now it is Cycle 6, and I don;t know what to do with myself. They teased the viewers on the season premiere saying the girls were all going to have to shave their heads (for the traditional makeover that usually happens in episode 2). I about shit my pants thinking they were actually going to do it! Some of those girls would have bounced had they actually required that of them. Good thing they just had to wear the Mr. Clean caps for the photo shoot. All in all, I am satisfied w/ the cast, thought I wish the racist republican girl would have made the final cast. It would have been entertaining to see her ass get kicked on a daily basis. If you don;t watch this, it is not too late... tonight is the 3rd episode.

8th and Ocean
If you like ANTM, you'll like this new MTV show that follows Real World. It is brought to us from the wonderfully brilliant minds that brought us Brokeback Mountain and Gone w/ The Wind... I mean Laguna Beach... hahaha. It follows a few girl and guy models that have contracts w/ a prestigious agency in FL (South Beach?). Similar filming style to Laguna, but w/ funnier characters (did you SEE the owner of the agency??? What right does she have judging people's looks when her face is pulled so tight you'd think Joan Rivers looks as natural as a newborn). Great show. It won't win any Emmy's... but it is up to par w/ the rest of the MTV shows.

The New Adventures of Old Christine
Julia Louis-Dryfuss has missed the Seinfeld curse on this one. I was skeptical at first, but I have to say, it is REALLY funny. PLUS Wanda Sykes is in it... gotta love that. The show is about Christine (Julia) who's ex-husband starts dating a new girl (younger) named Christine. Get it, she is the Old Christine, this girl is the New Christine. She is good friends w/ her ex (they have a kid) so she has to deal with finally moving on with her life (2 years after divorce). Honestly, great new show. Mondays at 9:30 on CBS. I really hope CBS will give it a chance.

How I Met Your Mother
Dude... y'all know how much I love this one... I don't think I even need to say anything about it.

American Inventors
From the creators of American Idol (Simon Cowell). Pretty funny. Though I haven't seen a full episode, I plan to TiVo it next week so that I can catch most of it. I guess I don't how the show will progress after these first rounds. After they choose you, what happens then? Huh... we'll have to see.

Unan1mous
This looks like the most horrible reality show ever... I cannot WAIT!!! It starts tonight. They lock a bunch of nobodies in some bunker and tell them they can't leave until they all agree to give one person down there the $1.5 million. The longer they take, the less money will be left. Horrible... FANTASTIC!

Commander and Chief
Love it love it love it. So sad they are on hiatus at the moment. They better not cancel this shizz on me. Geena Davis won an Emmy... how can they cancel that? Having a female prez would be lovely... this show my illustrate how it would be if it happened. Kind of like how the West Wing illustrated what it would be like if an actor won things (oh wait... there WAS Ronald Reagan... and we all now see what has happened w/ the Governator)...

Hot Properties (CANCELED!!!)
Booooooo!!!! This was a great show. 4 chicks working as realtors in NYC. One of the girls was from Mad TV, she was hilarious. I mainly liked this show because one of my favorite writers wrote for it. It made it 9 episodes I think before it got yanked... too bad :-(

Real World (franchise... Key West, Challenges, etc)
Love all the drama. Been watching all of the seasons and challenges from season 3 (San Fran??). Can;t get enough. Keep putting those losers and media whores on an island or in a house and you have got yourself a viewer forever!

There and Back
Ashley Parker Angel, from O-Town fame, had a reality show in which it showed him trying to make it again as a solo artist. His pregnant girlfriend was a tad bitchy, but I guess if I have a watermelon growing inside me, I wouldn't be Miss Rosie Sunshine either. Great show, just had it's season finale the other week w/ the release of his new single (look at that, already forgot the name of it). Hey, if a reality can help Ashlee Simposn launch a career, I say, why not the same for Ashley Parker Angel... ha!

LOST
No need to explain its awesomeness.........

Gilmore Girls
Season 6 is almost over. I have been following Lorelai and Rory for the whole run (well I caught up on re-runs) and can't wait to see where they are headed next. Can;t say that I've been too pleased w/ this season, with the mom/daughter fight that lasted way too long for it to be believable.. especially w/ their close relationship. O-well, tomato tomaaaaatoe. I have to say... I am invested! Great show... almost as good as Felicity, but not quite (I own all DVDs for this show... Felicity too... I know I have an illness).

Joey
Wasn't bad... is about to be canceled... no need to discuss.

Will & grace
It's on its last season... I owe it to Jack and Karen to watch. "Jack Talk!"

ER
Is there any original cast members left? Wow... surprisingly I still find this show interesting.

True Life
MTV documentary series. I love it. I love how they edit. Different episodes have different topics like, "I am your Baby Daddy", "I am moving back with my parents", or "I am a transgendered homophobe on Steroids in a beauty pageant." Ok, so maybe the last one was made up, but I'd watch it nevertheless. They just had one on the competitive eating world. Very eye opening as to what these people go through to prepare. That one Asian dude will never be beaten... EVER. So the rest can just give up right now.

InJustice
Surprising gem on Fridays. While, no, I do not stay home friday nights to watch it, I do enjoy its essence on my lovely TiVo. Very good. A bunch of law students, an ex-cop, and a big time lawyer (Trey from Sex and the City) work on cases of the wrongly accused. I still have the last few weeks on my TiVo, but on Sunday night I watched an episode from Feb. where they were rushing to save some guy from lethal injection. They were 1 min late... it was too late. I was boo-hooing in my bed. So sad!!!!!!!! And to imagine, this shizz probably happens more than we think. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!

Conviction
Another lawyer show on Fridays... how original... I have TiVoed 3 episodes but haven't watched them yet. Hopefully they are good

Desperate Housewives
You all know the hype....

Grey's Anatomy
Love it! Very cute mix of the great medical-ness of ER with the personal story lines of a soap. If you haven't seen it, you should at least TRY one episode... come on... just try one... for me?

Mad About You
Yes, I have recently been taping re-runs of this show. It doesn't;t get any better than Paul Rieser! hahaha

OOOOOOOOOk... I should leave this be for now (I'm sure I tape more...but Im too embarrassed to say what else... Surreal Life, # 1 Single w/ Lisa Loeb). I am depressing myself thinking of all the more books I could be reading. It's like substituting my crack addiction with heroin. HA!

I don't think that is necessary...

2006-03-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

I got another freelance writing gig for an online magazine called NetClearly.com. Sounds pretty interesting enough... except they want me to send them a headshot of myself. Now I am not saying I would be embarrassed to send one, all I'm saying is... why?

I am a writer, not an actress (at least I'm not really anymore... boo!). I do see other writers attached pictures to their work, but I must say, I hate that. When I am reading a book, I get to the back cover and look at their picture, I am always disappointed because I am picturing them differently. Not that they look better or worse than what I am imagining... just different, and it kind of ruins it for me. Am I the only one who thinks this?

Probably... sorry I'm weird...

I guess I would just prefer to have a bio and that's it. But even those, they want the writer to write it. I hate writing one. It feels vain and weird. One of my bios for one website was this:

Lisa is a 22 year old graduate from the University of Michigan. She is an avid reader and has read almost every type of book under the sun. Her favorite types of books are fiction humor novels. She has been a freelance writer for the last year and has been published on sites like www.finetuning.com and www.associatecontent.com. Lisa has a blog where she updates about random things she finds amusing and annoying... a very funny read. Please visit her at: http://insomniatheatre.blogspot.com/. She finds that while she is a decent writer, she is a horrible speller... so bear with her.

Yikes! I swear, I never know what to say on these things... Here is another example:

Graduated form the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor with a B.A. in Communications. Aspires to be a novelist. Will YOU buy my book?

Was I drunk when I wrote this? They only wanted something short... and this is what I come up with... sheesh!

I embarrass myself. I have to come up with something cute and witty for this next one, but I have a strong feeling that I will fail miserably. Same goes for my headshot. I honestly have no good pictures of me without a beer in my hand. Ha! The only semi-decent ones have other people in them... and if I crop, maybe they will look ok. Maybe I should have you all help me pick the least embarrassing one. HELP! View the options and let me know which one is LEAST terrible :-) Sorry, I just really need help w/ this shizz. I don't want to look like an idiot. My grammar and mis-spellings do that enough for me as it is.

Option #1

Option #2

Option #3

Option #4

Option #5

Thank God...

2006-03-08T15:37:00.000-05:00

... I can finally breathe a sigh 0f relief!!!

Welcome to your 2nd season guys!!!!

2nd Open letter to ABC Executives...

2006-03-07T15:48:00.000-05:00

I hope you have learned your lesson!

You learn something new everyday...

2006-03-07T14:46:00.000-05:00

I have been bored here, so I decided to add some shizz to my site. If you scroll down to the bottom of the page, you'll see I added a picture viewer and some scrolling letters (thanks to G) that is pretty sweet if i do say so myself. I know those pics are older, and y'all have probably seen most of them, but I hope to update them soon.

So... go check it out. I'll post more later.

Hahahahahaha

2006-03-06T11:04:00.000-05:00

' ?

I HATE that...

2006-03-02T09:46:00.000-05:00

Don't you just hate it when you buy something and see it a few months later at a WAY cheaper price? I can't stand that!!!

I have just recently checked the price of the laptop I bought last June and saw that it is now $600 less than what I paid. DAMN!!!! I could have done a lot w/ $600. Unfortunately I don't think my last laptop would have held up for another year (at least w/o me throwing it against a brick wall... it was getting pretty slow!).

Oh well... we can't win 'em all!

George... he's the curious one...

2006-02-28T11:03:00.000-05:00

So yeah... haven't been around for a little while. I've been kind of busy and uninspired (despite watching the hopeful battle is out on American Idol!). I basically have been working, watching TV, and (sometimes) reading.

These past few weekends have been just OK. Nothing really new to report. I do, however, want to mention that I went to see Curious George at the movies... on a Friday night. I know I know... I live life on the edge. It was very cute. We learn that the Man In The Yellow Hat's name is Ted. Kind of ruins the whole allure of the mystery for me, but whatev. I can deal. The music in the movie was very adorable. Jack Johnson did a nice job. I must download and add to my ever growing ipod.

Speaking of, yeah I just downloaded a bunch of shizz the other day to it. A lot of Disney songs. I don;t know what has gotten into me lately, but I have been wanting to listen to all that crazy stuff. So now after I listen to something like "Back dat ass up" and "Get Low" I can rock out to the soothing sounds of "Kiss De Girl" (Little Mermaid) or "I Won't Say I'm In Love" (Hercules). I seriously have an eclectic mix of musical tastes.

Same goes for my decorating tastes. I have just recently been on this wanting-to-buy-shizz-for-a-house-i-don't-have kick. I have bough numerous pieces of artwork that I want to hang, as well as vases and decorative statues... yet I have the room the size of a cubicle (ironic huh?). I have been noticing more and more how much I want/need to move out. No offense to my parents, they are great, but I am 23 year old graduate from a great university who has a job. Is there any real reason I need to be living at home? Yes I now have a large savings account because of it... and I'm still not being paid what I think I should be, but honestly I could afford to move out. I think I would just hate to do it, blow through my savings, and have to more home again when I'm even older. I don't want to rent, can't afford to buy, and lack someone I know w/ their own place w/ a spare room (can I move in???). Boo!

I think I may have landed another freelance writing job. $100 for 1,000 words. We'll see if it pans out. Looks like they want me to do reviews... which y'all know I love to do. If you subscribe to my gossip e-mail, you'd know me and my sources have a very critical eye. I'll keep ya posted.

Ok... so what else random can I talk about? Hmmmm... I don;t know. I kind of like writing w/ a stream of consciousness. It is funny to just write and not really know what you are writing about or if it makes sense. I have a feeling I'll have a lot more typos in this post since I'm not going to proof read before I post. Well who am I kidding... I never proof read. So basically I am just typing whatever comes to mind, thrilling, I know. Well... what can I say. I have a banana sitting on my desk I have brought for breakfast, yet it is about 11:15am right now. Damn, I am hungry, but I guess I'll just save it for lunch. One less thing I have to buy in the over-price cafeteria downstairs.

Speaking of bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S), did you ever notice that Curious George has no tail? I have had this conversation a few times w/ a few people, and many didn't realize it either. I thought maybe w/ the reveal of the Man In The Yellow Hat's name, we would also learn why George has no tail. Was it a birth defect? Did it get severed in a steel mill accident? Did he have it removed by choice (ala gender re-assignment surgery)? But no, it wasn't even referenced. I thought maybe if they weren't going to explain why, maybe they'd even acknowledge it at the very least. Like Ted (TMITYH) could say, "... and so I just came here to find this big statue... wow George, you don't have a tail... hmmm... weird... anyways, so this statue is hard to find...". How hard would that be. Kids aren't idiots, I'm sure they are realizing this shizz too (well, I didn't, but kids are smarter now than back in my day).

Ok, well the story has come full circle. I started w/ George, and I'm ending w/ him. Adios!

Shotz

2006-02-17T13:32:00.000-05:00

Cheers!!

Tequila... what a drink!

...starting to take effect....

Drink up biatch!

(Surgeon General's Warning: Lisa D. does not support the alcohol industry. She does not approve of underage children and reminds all to drink responsibly. Alcohol may cause shortness of breath, loss of coordination, falling down at random points on the walk home, painful urination, and the purchase of many further gross shots: i.e. Andy's Ass or the Smokers cough. You should not drink alcohol if you are pregnant, have risks of heart disease, are bad a taking shots, or have a tendency to make an ass of yourself when you are not drunk... because you will for sure is you are. Lisa D. does not normally imbibe much alcohol, however on this night she was bring a drunk biatch. Enjoy!)

p.s... go back and check out my post "The D in Full Effect... I finally added pictures!!!

You serious??

2006-02-16T11:27:00.000-05:00

Guess others have my same love for the world class comedian! Ahhh hahaha!

Things to do before I die...

2006-02-08T10:22:00.000-05:00

This is not meant to be a depressing topic. Don't you worry your pretty little head about me... I plan on living for a very very very long time.

I have a friend who wrote out a list of things she wanted to do before she died. She had only 1 rule: you could add to the list, but not take anything away. I admired her for this, but have been avoiding putting my list in writing. I don't know why. Maybe I'm afraid that I won't complete the list... or maybe I'm afraid I won't do ANY of them. That thought is terrifying. There are a few things I have done already that can at least be crossed off the list I had in my mind, so I guess that makes me feel a little better.

No one can expect to complete EVERYTHING they had ever imagined themselves doing, but it is worth a shot, right? Deep breath... without further ado... here is my list (things in RED I have already done):

Things To Do Before I Die

01. Write a book
02. Get said book published
03. Get on Oprah's Book Club (a girl can dream)
04. Be an audience member at the Oprah show (before it goes off the air)
05. Go skydiving
06. Survive skydiving
07. Live in New York City (an interesting experience, but I wouldn't advise moving to a strange city all alone)
08. Feel comfortable with my body
09. Write for a major magazine
10. Go White Water Rafting (it was fun... I was surprised)
11. Swim with the dolphins
12. Vacation in Santorini
13. Own real estate in 2 different locations
14. Buy a Porche for my dad and a similar type car for my mom
15. Have a painting or another piece of my artwork hang in a gallery
16. Meet Keri Russell (Felicity)
17. Be content with life
18. Sing in public and have people be impressed (NOT ala American Idol)
19. Be involved in a film (either write, direct, extra, or act)... will settle for an independent film
20. Kiss a celebrity (like full on... on the lips!!!)
21. Let go of wanting to be on The Real World
22. Go to Mardi Gras
23. Make out below the Eiffel Tower
24. Learn how to take a compliment
25. Attend a major rally or protest for something I believe in (I did, March for Choice 2004)
26. Get all the books on my amazon.com wishlist
27. Be my own boss
28. Have one full day not getting out of bed except to change the DVD, bathroom, and food.
29. Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home (just once).
30. Pick up and go on a long weekend without telling anyone beforehand (i.e. call from the destination)
31. Be front row at my favorite band's concert (I did for Goo Goo Dolls and Britney Spears)
32. Go to the Kentucky Derby with a fabulous hat
33. Own one very expensive but absolutely wonderful business suit.
34. Donate a large sum of $$$ to a great human rights cause -- anonymously
35. Go up in a hot-air balloon (I did over Napa Valley).
36. Spend New Years Eve in New York City (once...)
37. Do something crazy in Las Vegas
38. Have sex in a public place (yet still be hidden)
39. Make a hole-in-one. (hey... putt putt counts!)
40. Sleep under the stars (preferably on a beach)
41. Ride a camel
42. Have a large savings account, instead of a bunch of shizz I don't need ($250,000 or +)
43. Inspire someone
44. See Area 51
45. Play Scrabble with no rules (Yeah G-Dizzle!)
46. Have a drink named after me (I don't know if "Red Headed Slut" is appropriate)
47. Stay debt free (or as close to it as possible)
48. Slap someone really hard across the face
49. Never fly coach again... yeah right!
50. Get a cat... ok maybe 2... or 3
51. Be asked to be the Maid of Honor at a wedding (Thanks Steff)
51. To be able to say - whether success or failure - I tried.

Well there you have it. Wow... the list is longer than I thought it would be. We'll see how it all goes. Send me things from your list. I'd like to see what others goals are too.

The D in full effect

2006-02-07T11:07:00.000-05:00

PICTURES NOW AVAILABLE!!

Well then...

I headed to The D this last weekend to venture deep within the Super Bowl XL activities that drenched our fair city. Well... I went down there, OK. My friend Lindsay and I went down there on Saturday to just experience the craziness of it. We ate first in Mexican Town... mmmmmm delicious!!!

We then drove into the frey around 6:30-ish to try to find parking. We were not about to shuttle it in, then have to deal with finding a shuttle to get back to our car. We spotted some random parking lot near GreekTown Casino... right near Ford Field. We pulled up to the guy and asked if it was full and how much (the signs said $30). The guy looks at me and says, "We are full, but you park for $40." Seriously? You think you can screw us out of $$$ because we are girls? Think again asshole. We drove around to another entrance to the same parking lot and another guy helped us park and said it was $30. So we parked and went into the nearest bar... The Cock-N-Bull. Ha! I know, I laughed too.

So it is a $10 cover for a bar I'm sure has never charged a cover in it's existence. Beers are $5 each, but hey... it is the Super Bowl. Lindsay and I walked around in this crowded hole-in-the-wall bar and snagged a table as some girls were getting up. Some lady seemed pissed that we sat down, but or philosophy is, "You snooze you lose sucka." We sit at a table for four... there is just us two. Understandably, people are sort of pissed, but o-well. We drink, we talk, we meet randoms, it was fun. Super Bowl weekend in a random bar is not the best place for two ladies traveling alone. I'd have to say we each probably were grabbed and slapped on the ass quite a few times (Lindsay even being hit on by a married man... ). We also witnessed a guy who held a cup to his crotch and began peeing... right in the bar. Nice!

We ended up walking round the city for a little while after the bar and got to experience the craziness and freezing weather. Let's just say were were bundled, yet still frozen. We tried getting a picture as close to Ford Field as possible, but we couldn't get very close, it was gated.

After about 30 mins of walking around, we sought shelter in another bar. About a 1/2 hout later we had our fill of The D in full effect, so we decided to pack it in and head home. Simpler said than done. As we attempted to avoid the street traffic, Lindsay expertly maneuvered us to the expressway on sidestreets. Little did either of us know, we were headed the wrong way. Took us a couple tries, but we made it out of there alive and in one piece.

The D was cool this weekend, but it can't fool us. It is still a not-so-great-downtown-metropolis with a thin coat of paint slapped on it to save face in front of the world. It was fun though....

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2006-01-31T10:45:00.000-05:00

NOTE: I got this in an e-mail and thought it was hilarious. I did not write this myself. This is my "Oprah" disclaimer... so she doesn't get mad at me for fabricating the truth. There is no chicken... he is not real. :-)

*********************************

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want toknow if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together – in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road

SIGMUND FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only Cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

Oprah was ALL up in his grill!

2006-01-27T10:45:00.000-05:00

Oh lord!

Please tell me y'all saw the Oprah show heard round the world? It was amazing. I TiVoed it, since I was at work when her live taping aired.

If you have not heard, Oprah had James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces, Oprah's last Book Club pick, on her show again to confront him about his lies and deceptions. I have to say, it was a massacre! I think Oprah was honest and fair (of course I'm going to take Oprah's side!!!) and gave James a chance to come clean. I was disappointed to see him still backpedaling, only admitting to out and out lying near the last 2 mins of the taping. I'd hate to see what the After Show was like.

James addressed his discrepancies when probed, but he was not going to reveal anything else besides what thesmokinggun.com found. Oprah also had the publisher from Doubleday on to defend herself. She admitted that they did not have a fact checker on the book before it went to press. She said it has passed the litmus test of her "believing it sounded real." Dude, that is the job of writers, to make even the most unbelievable stories sound real. Poor lady was caught in the shit-throwing storm, but still didn't get it from Oprah as bad as I thought she should.

Oprah also had on the Washington Post columnist who wrote THIS about her call-in on Larry King Live, defending James. Oprah had to swallow her pride and apologize to the audience and the millions watching for calling in to that show. She said it made it seem like she was saying the truth wasn't important.

It was hard to watch. James was squirming in his chair. He mentioned something to Oprah during the commercial break about "...hope there's a gun backstage." I mean, the boy lied, it IS a big deal. We rely on the publishers to fact check and define the categories or the books. They obviously didn't do that, therefore Doubleday should be held responsible too.

Go back and read my initial opinion on this in my "Trust Me On This" blog. Hee Hee. Cross promotion!

All I have to say is that I hope I'm never on Oprah's bad side. She was all over him. She did everything short of rolling up a newspaper and smacking him on the nose!

'Bucks-ing It Up!!

2006-01-27T10:25:00.000-05:00

As we all know, I am a big fan of the 'Bucks. I don't know what it is... I know I have told all you this before. In a stunning revelation, I admitted to being one of the pretentious posers who sit there for hours and read or type on my laptop.

This weekend, it will be 'Bucks or Bust! I plan on planting my ass on those nice purple velvety chairs and reading for a good portion of Saturday and Sunday afternoon. I feel like I have been so busy lately that I have been neglecting my books, as well as my chair at the 'Bucks. Since TiVo, my television repituare has increased exponentially. I have been recording shows left and right, and now if I don't watch something soon, my TiVo will run out of space. So, since I have been recently shifting my focus onto Steve-O the TiVo, I have let my responsibilities to my books fall by the wayside. But don;t fret folks, I plan of betting back into it now. I plan on reading at least one full book this weekend and hopefully starting another one. I will be reading Love Like That by Amanda Hill. Hope it is good, and thanks to the one who bought it for me. I plan on following that by Oprah's next Book Club choice Night by Elie Wiesel. You know how I loves me some Oprah, despite the last Book Club choice fiasco.

Wish me luck! If you are in the area, stop by my 'Bucks and say "Hello".

Bushisms

2006-01-25T13:16:00.000-05:00

I have the greatest calendar. It is called "George W. Bushisms". 365 days of off the wall shizz he has said. Somedays it takes all I have not to burst into tears.

Here are some of his gems:

"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."

"The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where childrean from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society."

"There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and
say, 'I don't want you to let me down again'"

"I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. I's what I'm interested to
know."

"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously.
But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed w/
success as opposed to failure."

I want to thank you for taking the time out of your day to come witness my
hanging." - (at the dedication of his portrait in
Austin)

That's our 'ole Dubbya!!!

Screw you any way they can

2006-01-24T08:56:00.000-05:00

Seriously.... what is it with cell phone companies? Huh? Why is it that on top of charging us an arm and leg for service plans, they continue to screw you over any way they can?

I just don't get what the point is. Dude, you are getting $60 per person per month. Isn't that enough to fatten every executive's waste as well as most of the workers? I am extremely bitter at the moment after getting my cell phone bill in. Apparently I have signed up for some non-existent ringtone service and am being charged $9.99. May not seem like a big deal huh? Well on top of that, my wireless provider has also been charging me double minutes from anyone who doesn't carry the same service. WTF?!?!?!?! I had to call and stay on the phone for over an hour yesterday dissecting my bill w/ the moron employed by the service. One thing I'm also pissed about is that my nights do not start until 9pm. 9 PM!!!!! Come on people, this is ridiculous. I mean, I guess it is my fault for not knowing that, but apparently I can't even change my plan to change the Night Starting time. AHHHHHH

Sorry.... I need to just be mad for a bit!

Happy 1 Year Anniversary!!!

2006-01-20T16:30:00.000-05:00

...to me!

I've been at my company for 1 full year. Yikes! One full year in the working world. Scary. My company celebrated my anniversary by giving me $100. Damn straight they need to give me money, they hardly pay me enough as it is.

It is weird to look back a year from now, thinking...damn, a year ago I was chilling out, maxin', and relaxin' all cool in my apt in Ann Arbor. Click here to read a blog entry from back then!!! At times I'm tankful for where I have ended up, but other times I feel like maybe I just settled. I never want to feel like I've settled. In life, in my career, in my home, in my family, in my aspirations... I don't want to settle. I think that is the worst thing someone can do. When you settle, you begin to resent the things that you do have and are envious of people who have what you want. I aim to have everything I want, without sacrificing myself or my goals. Lofty thought, I am aware. But I can't sit back and feel like I could have done more, I could have done better. I don't want to live like that.

One year ago today, I started a job at a great company for not great pay in a not great location in regards to my home. Today, I have been promoted and have gotten 2 raises and am in a position that is more related to my interests. But is it enough? No. I know what I want, I know how to get it, and now is the time to go for it. It will be rough... but it will be worth it. I don't want to end up married w/ kids and unhappy. I want to be happy and fulfilled before my future husband and kids arrive on my doorstep.

Let's see where I end up next year!!!

***********************
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To each his own

2006-01-19T16:33:00.000-05:00

Why do people insist on waiting to the last minute to ask for things, then expect them to get done immediately? I don't understand this. Especially when said person has had ample time to request whatever it is from you.

If you can't tell, I have extreme rage when it comes to shizz that will keep me at work late due to other people's stupidity and procrastination. Luckily I am a fast little worker bee who gets things done as fast as the speed of light. Hee! I guess I just don't get that mentality. Ok... dude... I know what you are gonna say. I am famous for leaving things till the last minute. That was my entire college career... but I only did it when it effected me. I would never leave a group project until the last minute. When others are counting on me to complete my part, I pull through, and in a timely manner. So why is it that others cannot do the same?

Sorry... just needed to vent!

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Thanks!

Roundhouse kick you in the balls

2006-01-18T14:01:00.000-05:00

... Chuck Norris. I laughed my ass off reading this! hahahahahahahaha

Enjoy!

Nope... I'm not getting old... it was just a dry spell

2006-01-17T16:09:00.000-05:00

My weekend was a success. With the extra day off, for MLK day, I rested and reguvinated. Props to Google.com for this cuteness...

Friday I went out w/ friends to Buffalo Wild Wings and enjoyed the company for a few hours. Then Saturday I went out for my friend's b-day at Divine. So much fun. Had a little too much to drink, but not enough to ruin the night over the porcelain. Wish I would have taken pictures, but let's just say that Charisse kept falling over, we got free shots, and we danced our asses off.

I hope I have more fun weekends like this in the near future. I miss going out. I want to do it now while I'm still young and won't receive looks for being the old lady in the bar. You know... you always see one or two women that are just plain too old to be shaking their asses w/ the rest of the 18-25 year olds. Please someone stop me if this is im in another 10 years. I'm serious... drag my sequent-wearing ass out the bar and serve me w/ a solid slap.

Well sorry it is boring and short today... I have been a busy bee trying to play catch up from last week. Please browse the right ride w/ my "Currently Reading" and "On My iPod"... I updated those too.

Peace!

...am I getting old?

2006-01-13T14:12:00.000-05:00

I don't know. I'm thinking that I am starting to get/feel old now. Basically my days consist of work, working out, and sleeping (unfortunately not as much as I would like). Sound normal? True, but my weekends... my weekends are what is making me feel old.

My weekends consist of me sleeping in, reading, watching TiVo, and going to dinner/movies w/ friends. I don't think I've been out dancing or to a bar in at least 2 months. It is sad really. I'm 23, I'm not married, I don't have kids, I don't had a very stressful job, I don't have much financial responsibility... yet I can't make it out to a bar on a Saturday night.

I know that you must be thinking... shut up! I know, I should shut up. I find now that I like to have more relaxing weekends. I don't want to show up on Monday for work and feel like I need a break from my 2 days off. But something has to change. I need some more excitement. I need to feel like I'm 23, not 45. Hopefully this weekend will fix this. I plan on going out tonight to a few bars w/ some of my good friends and getting a good healthy buzz going. Then on Saturday I am going out to a club for one of my best friend's birthdays. I get to dance! FINALLY!

Let us just hope I don't break a hip, eh?

Check it out!!!!

2006-01-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

I have added a new feature here... not that you care.

If you look over here to the right you will notice under my "Links" that I have added a "Currently Reading" button. Click there and check out what I am reading, book suggestions, book reviews, and everything in between!

I have also added my wishlist to the links, as well as some of my published work, so keep checking out the links area.

I'll be posting again later, so check back soon...

Lazy Lazy Lazy

2006-01-11T10:37:00.000-05:00

Sorry people... I've been a lazy gal when it comes to writing. I told myself that I need to write everyday, no matter what the subject, to stay in practice. Sort of like conditioning for the mind.

So let's get down to the updates. I had a great x-mas and new years... you? How was yours? Well that's good to hear. I'm glad Santa brought you that ******* with the extra AA batteries. I got basically everything on my list plus some surprises, so thank you to everyone who contributed to the "Lisa Is Poor" Foundation this holiday season. With your thoughtful contributions, Lisa may soon be able to resume her shopping addiction at Target.

As for heading back to work, well I guess I'm as well as can be expected of someone who works a 8:30am-5pm job. I miss the sleeping my week off afforded me. Let me tell you, I got an abundance of it. And now, here I sit... typing away at my desk... missing my pillow. The one in the car is not as comfortable, plus it is frickin' freezing out there. Car naps are getting more difficult as the days pass. However, I have found a new activity to pass my lunch hour. I purchased a Video iPod for x-mas. Yes, I do have a green iPod mini already, but I have decided that I will pass him on to my mom, and I can enjoy the newest of technology. My Video iPod is great. I have uploaded about 1,000 songs, 6 full length movies, 12 episodes of Gilmore Girls, 6 episodes of Sex and the City, and 7 episodes of Seinfeld.... and I have only used 1/2 the memory! On my lunch hour, I sit at my desk, prop up the iPod, jam my buds deep in my ears, and enjoy. I also have found that it is great to work out w/, especially on the bike. There is the tiniest edge to rest it on. My trainers have a TV, but it only has news channels. I get depressed hearing about the turmoil around the world, especially when I'm trying to be peppy and keep my ass moving for the rest of the 45 mins.

Another update is that one of my very best friends (and co-cat mom.... shut up... we are not dorks) Charisse has gotten engaged! YAY!!! I am very proud to be named a bridesmaid. She and the kitties are very happy and excited, as am I. Her fiance is a very nice man... whom I introduced her to... and will make her very happy. I have been playing a lot of Trivial Pursuit 20th Anniversary Ed. w/ DVD at their apt. recently. Wow... I sound more like I'm 45 instead of 23. Maybe I need a bar night... huh?

Well that's about it for now. I'll try to keep up on my duties of entertaining all you bored souls out there. It amazes me that I'm not the cause of that boredom... well... geez... maybe I am.

Open letter to ABC...

2006-01-10T13:07:00.000-05:00

Dear ABC,

The horse is dead... put the stick down!!!

With love,

Me

... a quote from your President

2006-01-10T12:57:00.000-05:00

"I Think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."

- from George W. Bushisms 365 day calendar

Happy New Year!!!!!

2006-01-05T09:29:00.000-05:00

Interesting...

2005-12-22T16:11:00.000-05:00

It's better to know than not at all....

Yikes!

Company Holiday Party

2005-12-16T11:50:00.000-05:00

Oh my word... that was a tad crazy.

I have been to company xmas parties before, none at my own company...this was my first one. Let me put it to you this way, one of the head hanchos had his band play at the party. 'Nuff said.

Surprisingly it was actually pretty nice. Free booze, mashed potato bar (which I mistook for an ice cream bar at first... oops), lots of gormet food, a chocolate fountain (I rec. the marshmallows and an oreo cookie dipped in the fountain... those were by far the best), and entertainment (albeit amateur entertainment at best...). I got to see many I hadn't been around in a long while, which was interesting. I guess when I worked with some of these people in my old department, I had feelings that some people didn't like me. Apparently I was wrong. People were coming up to me all night asking how my new job was, saying they missed me, inviting me out to the bar for the after party (what the hell is this? The Oscars? There is a friggin' after party for an office xmas party... hahaha).

I really wanted to get a picture with the Pres. of the company... I thought it'd be funny. I didn't get a chance, maybe next year, hee hee! I entered the raffles... I lost the raffles... but we did get an x-mas bonus. Thank the lord... now all my shopping expenses for the holiday season have been covered. Finding out about the bonus was the real reason I went, but I ended up having a decent time.

I didn't want to drink too much, for fear of being "that girl" the next day (you all know I've been "that girl" on a few occasions). When people at the office drink, I have to say it is hilarious. You get to see their real personalities come roaring out from somewhere deep with in. There are office hook ups, the drunkin' make outs, and next morning embarrassments. Luckily I haven't yet been involved in anything scandalous/gossip-worthy... but just give me time.

The holiday party hookups are the funniest, usually involving the younger set of chicklets in the company. Things get out of hand at the after party (hahaha) and next thing you know, a hotel room is rented, and they show up to the office mysteriously wearing what they wore the day before. These things happen more frequently in a professional setting than one may think. At my company party, spouses and significant others are not invited... no further explanation necessary.

Here are a few rules I designate as the official Company Holiday Party Handbook:

1. Go easy on the alcohol Drinking your own bodyweight in red wine may seem like a good idea but unless you're planning to emigrate the next day, you'll run the risk of being known as the office drunk for the next year.

2. Avoid getting up close and personal with a colleague If you've forgotten or decided to ignore the drinking rule, your addled brain may want to throw caution to the wind. But remember, office romances rarely work out and you'll be the brunt of everyone's jokes until you're forced to hand in your notice.

3. Because others will drink too much, bring a recording device. A hostile work environment lawsuit could be the gift that keeps on giving this season. Hee Hee!!

4. Women... dress appropriately. No one wants to see a nipple of the woman that they deal with everyday, especially if she is older. And on a fashion note... leave those banana clips at home! HA!

5. Don't make snarky comments about the CEO dressing up as Santa Claus... he will have a list and check it twice... and fire your sorry ass!

6. Don't dance!!!!!!! Click here to see why!

Take my advice and follow along. It may help you out next year... sorry, this year you were on your own!

Done shopping.... don't make me go back out there!

2005-12-15T09:42:00.000-05:00

I have spent the past 2 weekends putting the final touches on everyone's gift... I think I've gotten everybody. Please don't make me go back to THAT!!!! I am fortunate and avoided all the crazy places (i.e. Best Buy, Somerset Mall, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc...). 'Tis the season to punch someone in the nose for cutting in line... Or purchasing the last $100 digital camera!

The holidays have completely gotten out of hand for me. I get my xmas check from the parents (they are too lazy to go shopping for me... plus it is just easier in the long run, now that I don't have to go back and return half the things they have gotten me), then I go out and spend that money on gifts for everyone else. It is depressing. Every time I go shopping, I see my checking account dip lower and lower... closer and closer to the drafting fee they will pull from my savings when I run out of money in my checking. Since I'm not exactly rolling in the $$$ at the moment, the holidays can become overwhelming.

I have tried to remedy this by putting limits on how much my sister, friends, etc can spend on me (and me on them). I'd aim for the $20 for my first offer... the counter offer my bid w/ $40... then usually I can get them down to $35. But $35 times my sister/friends is a L.O.T. of money! I know I know... gifts and shit isn't what xmas is about... but in our society, who are we kidding? Xmas is ancient sandscript for "Give me all your money- Love the Big Corps." Can't we take a friggin' year off??? I'm not in any way insinuating the suspension of gift giving for a year... I'm not THAT charitable. However, I do think some things need to be scaled back. More Secret Santa groups between friends need to be formed thereby limiting the number of gifts being exchanged, and the added mystery of who has whom. More creative/meaningful gifts vs. pricy flashy gifts.

I guess I am still just trying to get my financial bearings in this cruel consumer's world of ours... boo to that!

P.S. Let's pause for a moment of thanks and reflection for my favorite one-stop-shop.

New Feature...

2005-12-12T11:56:00.000-05:00

As you probably can tell, I have discovered the picture feature on Blogger. I am lovin' it. I have decided today, since I have nothing real interesting to say, that I will just post random funny pictures. Enjoy!

Here is the Sadie-Monster waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn. And of course Steff is there to capture the splended moment.

Me and the girls getting hammered after Graduation! Way to drink up the fishbowl!

Here is me and Steff in San Fran... if you look at the pic below, this area may look familiar...

Hahahahahahahahaha.... too bad we didn't see Bob Saget!

This pic needs no explaination...

When I found the above pic, I found this as well! Too much fun! Ahhh huh huh... FIRE!!

MORE COWBELL!!!!!!!!!

Sheesh! Patrick is lookin' hit. Looks like the Dirty Dancing times was the time of his life. Yikes!

...And this was just too cute. Sorry...

D-lister at his best! hahaha
Hope you like it... I will try to think of something to write about later...

Bob Saget

2005-12-09T11:19:00.000-05:00

Oh, Bob. You are such a stellar performer.

Bob Saget is one of my favorite actors... I have to say (not really... but just go w/ it). He popped on the scene as a young stand-up comedian but became known as a household name when he landed the coveted role of Danny Tanner on the ABC sitcom Full House in the late 80s-early 90s.

Full House was the greatest show, wasn't it? I mean, you had comedy (corny and watered-down), family (23 people and a dog shoved into one house in downtown San Fran), stars (well... we didn't know how big those 2 bag-lady trend-setter Olsen girls would be, nor did we realize how many new hit sitcoms Jodie Sweetin would go on to star in... hahaha), and music (...or Beach Boy appearances). It was like the quadruple threat of tv shows, huh?

Not only did Bob rise to fame include sitcom life as Danny Tanner... he also hosted the very first edition of America's Funniest Home Videos. His asinine little skits and voice overs on the videos are just too funny to even recall right now. I vividly remember working at a restaurant called Champps that had many TV screens. I worked Saturday and Sunday mornings as a hostess, and since it was early, not much sports were on tv, so we had these America's Funniest Home Videos tapes on loop until 6pm. I absolutely loved it. Getting to see Bob while I worked... mmmmmm good!

... But enough about Full House and AFHV... this post is about Bob. He is like my hero. His hair/semi-mullet quaff so perfectly atop his head... towering 8 and a 1/2 feet in the air. Those long skinny legs really get me going. To top it all off, he is on one of my very new favorite shows, How I Met Your Mother (on CBS 8:30pm Mondays). That show is hilarious (honestly!). He is the voice over for "Older Ted", sort of like how the guy from Home Alone was the voice over for the kid on the Wonder Years. I knew his voice sounded familiar when I heard it, so I looked him up and found out that good 'ole Bob was the guy. That solidified my infatuation with the show. How could you not like it... Bob Saget, Band Geek from American Pie, and Doogie!!! Come on folks... Doogie!

I'll close this wonderful tribute to the Sag-man with some of his stand-up lines and quotes (post Full House fame):

"Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana? " - Here's the wav file, probably NSFW (not suitable for work)

"I show up at his place, and Rodney’s naked in his bathrobe,” Mr. Saget said. “He’s always naked in his bathrobe with his balls hanging out. He goes, ‘Bob, you didn’t call to confirm. I got Ron Jeremy coming up with two hookers.’” Mr. Saget wasn’t too keen about meeting the porn star. “I said, ‘Rodney, I really don’t want to see Ron Jeremy and I don’t want to see hookers. No offense—I’m sure he’s a lovely man.’"

"I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me.' It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody. "

"...I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers..."

P.S... I'm not the only one in love w/ The Saget... Check THIS out! hahaha

Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us!!!

2005-12-05T10:38:00.000-05:00

'Tis the season to be jolly... and all that shit.

For some reason this year I can't get myself into the x-mas spirit. Sure I love the giving of gifts and making that special person in your life light up at the perfect gift and thought you put into your purchase, going through my closet to give away clothes and shoes to the needy, donating to charity, gathering w/ family and eating lots of food. All of the above are great... but I'm having a hard time getting into the "X-mas tree" of things.

The thought of having to string up lights in the bitter cold, let along in my cubicle, has me nauseous. I know... I sound like the figgin' Grinch. But I'm just not into all the traditional holiday shit this year. I think we go through a wavy progression in our lives. When we are kids, we are bowled over w/ the idea of a bearded man cramming his fat ass down a chimney to bring us free stuff. Then as teens/20somethings have the bitterness toward the holiday, thinking, "Damn... I can't afford to buy anyone anything good cuz I'm in college/just graduated/have a crappy job." Then, I imagine, after we all have children, we get back into it...telling the little rugrats about the fat ass coming down the chimney w/ free shit. Then when our kids are teens/20somthings we fall back out of it again, writing a check to let them spend on what they want. Though the $$$ is much appreciated, it just isn't the same. Then when we become grandparents... we have the joy of starting all over again. It is a vicious red and green cycle... with little lights that blink on and off.

I'm in phase two of the cycle. The fat-assed man in red isn't coming... he just wants me to go to Target and buy my own shit.... with my parents money.

Happy Friggin' Holidays!

Sadie

2005-12-02T00:22:00.000-05:00

I promised my sister that I'd feature her little baby on my site. This is the crazy puppy I've mentioned. Now you can see her for yourself! Here is when they first got her. Look at those baby blues!!!

Bath time... I imagine she is hard to control in that situation.

Boo!

My favorite picture. Steff and Sadie... they are both annoying, this is how I like them best... Unconscious. Just kidding!

Treat... yikes she looks scary here.

Sadie has no realization of her side or others being uncomfortable.

Look at her crazy fur. I love it.

Here's Sadie with her name collar. How Paris Hilton is that??

Merry Christmas!

The family portrait.

Ok... hope y'all enjoyed that. Talk to ya later!

After Thanksgiving Sale Crazies...

2005-11-28T14:38:00.000-05:00

I went, I saw, I lived to tell about it.

That's right, I braved the early morning hours, the blistering cold, and the swarms of deal-seeking shoppers on the day after Thanksgiving sales... at Target! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Scary, I know. But for my defense, I only went to one store at 6am and returned home promptly one hour later w/ my loot to my nice warm bed (which coincidentally had a sleeping sister under the covers!). I am NOT one of the crazies!

I went on a strict mission. As many of you know, I am a Target-oholic. I shop there about once per pay check and spend WAY too much. I had recently purchased 2 new winter coats which are marvelous! See ONE here and the OTHER here (which looks much cuter in person). I went to the sale to get the discount on both coats so that I didn't have to take one back. I bundled up at 5:45am and made my way to the store. I figured, "Damn... it is early... maybe I'll be one of the only ones." Please note I have NEVER been shopping the day after Thanksgiving... so I had no grounds to base that assumption on. Boy was I wrong. I showed up and the parking lot was packed to the brim. I had to park at Costco. I brought along my bags filled with the coats... stood in line at Customer Service for a good 20 mins... only to find out that neither coat was on sale. Bastards!

I figured I was already there, might as well see what they DID have on sale. I was surprised. There were some good deals, but I guess I expected the whole damn store to be 2 for 1 or something. Some items were flying off the shelves. There was a HUGE line near the digital cameras, so I steered clear of that area and continued my shopping. I purchased a few clothing items, nothing too extravagant. I bought one good purchase: An alarm clock that you hook your iPod up to. See it HERE. At the store it was originally $130 and I got it for $79. I thought that was a pretty good deal. But I really want THIS one... so maybe I'll give the Target one as a gift. Guess I'm partial to having a remote.

I also "accidentally" bought one two books. Opps! All who know me know I have a book-buying problem! Don't you all fret... there are plenty of books to buy me from my amazon.com wishlist! hee hee hee

All in all it was an OK experience which I will never repeat again unless they are handing out books for free :-)

Ringtones

2005-11-21T13:27:00.000-05:00

What is it about them that gets me so excited? I mean, they are nothing really. They are little bells and whistles that let you know when someone is trying to get a hold of you. But damn it all to hell if I'm going to have just ANY ringtone. I want separate ones for each person to call.

...and these are quite expensive! But I've found a way for me to save a pretty penny and cut my costs nearly in half. I joined some site that helps you create your own real music ringtones (the ones that play the actual song). Now, normally these real song ringtones cost about $3.00 per. PLUS many wireless providers cost a few cents per KB downloaded to your phone... each ringtone coming in around 100KB per song. So at $0.03 per KB... this will cost about $3.00. So a total of $6.00 per ringtone total. Boo! That is expensive! You could get a mean for $6.00. You could get a shirt at Target for $6.00. You could by the newest lipstick for $6.00.

So with my new little website thingamajig... I can create my own and just pay the $3.00 downloading charge from the wireless provider (which I hate... a company that rhymes with Dingular). The best part... you get to edit your own song to the exact :30 you want to play when someone calls! Cool!

So last night around 1am I began the converting, saving, converting, editing, saving, converting, uploading process and alas am left with wonderful new music coming from my cool new phone when people call. I have chosen a modest 8 ringtones as of now ($24 in the hole...). I have "Since You've Been Gone"- Kelly Clarkson (Linz), "Follow Through"- Gavin DeGraw (Julie), "I Knew I Loved You"- Savage Garden (??? :-) ), "A New Argentina"- Evita (Dad... hahaha inside joke), "Come Away With Me"-Norah Jones (mom), "PYT"- Michael Jackson (Charisse), "Gold Digger"- Kanye West (G-Dawg), "Felicity Theme Song"-Felicity (normal ringer). I plan on doing a few more... but is is good for now.

Look at how much damn $$$ I'm spending... this is money I should be saving and investing, why am I so haphazzardly throwing it away?

... I guess because I can. Eventually this will not be the case... but for now I better get all the ringtones I can.

Get well, get well soon... we wish you to get well...

2005-11-17T13:33:00.000-05:00

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is annoyed that her co-workers are celebrating every little thing someone does... like if they have a birthday, promotion, retirement, baby, sick day, if someone sneezes, etc...

That is how my new department. I'm not complaining... but damn, every day we have some sort of celebration of something where food is brought in and we gather round in the conference room. I'm loving the free food and all, but I'm going to reverse my progress w/ the weight lose if I keep this shit up.

I imagine there being a frickin' parade if I cam back to work being out for a sick day. I have the song from Elaine's office stuck in my head with her yelling "That's not even a song!!!" Hahahaha

In the last few weeks, we've had a welcome breakfast for me, out to lunch for my b-day, out to lunch for another's b-day, and a retirement breakfast this morning. Within the next few weeks we have a luncheon for my boss' b-day, a Secret Santa lunch (w/ booze!!), a lunch w/ my boss' boss (he takes all the girls out together in my department for a nice lunch), dinner w/ the 5 Talent ladies, Company x-mas party, another retirement, and probably another b-day. Yikes!!! I gotta request they bring in some carrot sticks for me or something!

"Get well, get well soon, we wish you to get well. Get well, get well soon, we wish you to get well."

Office supplies

2005-11-16T13:07:00.000-05:00

What is it about office supplies that gets me excited to the point of giddiness?

I don't like working in an office... I don't get that inthralled by receiving new things... but why office supplies? I can only imagine it relating to childhood...

Let's reference a little pop culture shall we... an advertisement nontheless. Remember the Staples commercial where the dad is riding the shopping cart, very excited and the kids are following slowly behind, heads down while the voice over says "There going baaaaaack"? That was never me. Sure I was sad to see summer end, but I was always happy when the new school year came around. Why? School supplies!!! For some reason, I loved 'em. New Bic pens, mechanical pencils, the cushy pencil grips, rulers, Crayola crayons (the big box w/ the built in sharpener), notebooks, little cutesy folders w/ pictures of kittens or puppies on them, and my all time favorite... trapper keepers! Yes Trapper keepers were the shit back in the day. The kept everything in place. It was like a little locker carried around everywhere you go. I think I had some sort of Jungle themed one, who knows why... but dude, it was frickin' amazing. Every year I would get new stuff, despite the fact I had plenty of the previous years supplies sitting in a box in my closet (ok... I'm spoiled... but come one... office supplies!!!).

Now when I was given an OfficeMax catalog at work to peruse, it was like I was a kid in a well-organized and 3-hole punched candy store! I was able to order whatever I wanted, on the company dime. Now I didn't order everything I so desired, or else I'd have some top of the line Lay-Z Boy reclining office chair w/ built in foot rest... but I did get some essentials. Office supplies have come a looooooong way from when I was a child. No, no Crayola this time... (sidebar... how boring is it that I'm doing an entry on office supplies??? O-well... carry on...) I did get those great colored Post-It tab things, which I adore. I also got some cool folders and binders (no trapper keepers... boo!) as well as a sweet-ass calculator. If you knew me... you'd know I am terrible w/ numbers. Calculators are a necessity.

I just get so much joy from office supplies. If you don't give a rat's ass... well, then I'm going to take my new Swingline Stapler and beat you to death with it!

*********************

Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... "

Disappointed...

2005-11-15T15:16:00.000-05:00

Do you ever find that almost everything that is hyped-up a disappointment? Colleges, careers, deals/savings at stores, movies, tv shows?

Let's address these one by one, shall we?

Colleges: When I graduated from high school, I was extremely nervous to begin my journey into college... especially at a top University like U of M. It wasn't so much the academics that I feared; though that is what I probably should have been quaking at the knees for... it was living at the dorms and meeting new friends. I went in as a freshman to a single room at a central campus dorm. Lucky huh? Maybe not, as I pondered my first night alone. While I lay on my bed in my nicely color-coordinated bedroom of lavender, black, and zebra printed blankets and throws, I listened to the muffled laughter reverberating down the halls. I felt left out. That feeling was definitely hard to get over. I was disappointed at how empty my full dorm felt those first few nights (or weeks). Luckily, my savior disguised as a bubbly tall brunette plopped her ass down on my floor one day and just started talking. It is hilarious to think of now, but she just made everything better... in just those small minutes where I became a member of that dorm. I was no longer an outsider. Well, in a sense I wasn't, but I never got to enjoy the true pleasures of rooming w/ a complete stranger. True, I could have been stuck w/ some monster of a girl (like some people I know... C), and I got to decorate my room in my distinguished tastes, listen to my TV as loud as I wanted, watching whatever I wanted, and most importantly, have the privacy that I needed and so wonderfully used (no worries about someone walking in mid-sex-session). College itself wasn't a disappointment... I met new people, gained new friends, re-ignited friendships w/ old friends, and of course, learned a lot (about beer pong... haha)... but I don't think my college experiences ended up like many others. I didn't party till all hours of the night every weekend, I didn't participate in frat parties (thank god for that!), I never blacked out drunk... all in all, I didn't have many of the classic shady nights that college is known for (though there were a few.....). I don't regret anything… and yet I’m still a little disappointed. I’m mainly disappointed because things didn’t last. College ends… and the real world is there to slap you in the face, which leads me to my next issue….

Careers: After my early graduation from U of M, I believe my future would hold nothing but the best. I’m not as confident about that anymore. Folks who graduate with a more general degree are in for a rude awakening… competition for “cool” positions are fierce. Once in a so-called “cool” position, the coolness of it all wears off almost immediately. Then you are stuck in a low-paying job at a huge company working on “cool” accounts, getting treated like the entry-level that you are. Not exactly what I imagined it would be. Disappointed to say the LEAST! My hopes were high, my best can-do attitude in place, I trudged on. I imagined, “Well, at least I will work with some nice, fun people.” Again, I was lead astray in that though. While yes, there were some c-workers I connected w/. But overall, I was let down. Maybe it was the less-busy accounts I worked on where I actually could leave the office at 5pm (most days) while others had to stay until all hours of the night… maybe it was the fact many new people came to me for help/advice than to others… maybe it was the fact I live and hour + from many of these individuals… maybe it was because I was promoted after only working 9 months. Who knows what lead to me not having the huge group of friends from work (while I do have some…). In college, I never imagined I’d end up working in an office. While I do enjoy my new position and the people working around me (though, at 23 I am the youngest by far in my group… the only one not married or pregnant or a parent), I still feel this isn’t the right place for me. I don’t think I’m built for this office-life. And what I thought office life would be (survivable??) I am beginning to feel… I don’t know… disappointed.

Deals/Savings at Stores: We see all these damn commercials and advertisements (hahaha) promoting the big savings and deals you will receive when purchasing anything from a mattress to clothing. “Come on down to House of Blinds and Drapery… if you find a lower price somewhere else, we’ll give you ours for free!” Then when you get down there, present the better deal… there is always some damn fine print that keeps you from your free merchandise. I just want to scream, “Dude… I don’t even need drapes… I just wanted to get this shit for free!!!” Damn the man! Save the Empire!  hahaha sorry!

Movies: Godzilla (the re-make), Austin Powers 3, Ring II… need I say more?

TV shows: Of course I will be speaking about Laguna Beach season finale. They hyped that up so much and what a total let-down. They said it would be commercial free (which it was, props to “The Family Stone” for that… in theatres Dec. 16, check your local listings), extended (the episode was only 20 minutes…when someone says “extended” I expect double the original time allotted), and some special surprises. Would you like to know what the special surprises were? There is going to be a new season w/ a new bunch of kids (duh!) and there will be a spin-off w/ LC called “The Hills” where she is living in L.A. working as an intern for Teen Vogue. Considering me, my friends, and probably most of the demographic that watch this show already knew that… where was the damn surprise. MTV should do some research to find out what percentage of their key demographic has gotten word of this before calling anything a “surprise”. A little research people! Let’s move on… so the episode blew as well. Nothing happened. Jason and Cedric didn’t end up in bed together, Jessica didn’t act like a slut, Kristin didn’t talk shit about anyone, LC didn’t complain like a biatch, and StePHAN ended up alone (which we all knew would happen). All I have to say is BOO!!! to that episode!!! You would have done a lot more. It’s a fixed reality show… fixed meaning the editors and producers “help” create the drama… do your frickin’ job!!!

Other than all this… the world is great, I am peachy, and I hope to begin writing my book soon. I have a rough outline as it stands… let’s see how far I come in a month. Let’s hope for at least character development and possible 2 chapters.

Music playing aloud in the office...

2005-11-10T08:35:00.000-05:00

This really is a tough subject.

Should you play music out loud at your desk? Now, I (of course) have a strong yet reasonable opinion on the matter, however, it all depends on where you work.

If you are some sort of lawyer or top exec... then I guess it doesn't matter, just buzz your secretary and have her get off her ass and shut your door to your huge office w/ a city-scape view. Bastards!

If you are a secretary (at any office), it is my opinion that you should not be listening to music out loud. Most administrative assistants' duties are to answer phones, file, and be on call at their desks to assist their boss. If one is listening to music out loud at his/her desk, it could be difficult to hear the phone or requests from his/her boss. Now, a gentle flowing of music from the computer or radio may be permitted, however... gentle is the key word.

Now, in my situation, having music played aloud in a cube when your yourself are surrounded by cubes, music playing/volume is a big issue. Like I have mentioned before... speaking volume has been an issue for me (sorry people... i can't have those annoying blabber mouths around me when I'm trying to concentrate. See previous post on "Office etiquette"). At the moment (even at the crack of 8:30 in the morning), I have someone blasting their tunes at an unreasonable level. I know I know... call me grandma if you will, but in an office setting (even at a "cool" advertising agency... and I use the term "cool" loosely) there must be boundaries. If the person next to your cube can hear your music at more than a whisper tone... it is too loud. Especially if you are blaring top 40/rap. I am a fan of said genres of music, but I have my limits at the work place. If you have the option (i.e. don't have to answer the phones much, or if your phone has a blinking light on it when it rings) try to listen to headphones. Now I know not everyone can afford an iPod, but come on people. It is 2005, I'm sure you can grab your sister's old disc man (or hell... even a walkman if you are so inclined) and jam away whilst others enjoy the silence.

I am all for making the office a more enjoyable place to be... and sometimes that includes hearing Britney Spears hitting it one more time... but only if all is in agreement with it. There is only so many more times I can hear my cube-neighbor's iTunes play Weezer and Coldplay.

... Coldplay people!!!! If I have to listen to "Speed of Sound" once more... someone will be hurt.

Yikes...random...

2005-11-07T14:01:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been away...

I had a grrrrrreat birthday (as Tony the Tiger would say). A bunch of my peeps came out to celebrate at club Divine in Ypsi, and those who couldn't sent me birthday wishes! Thanks all for making the start of my 23rd year a great one. We partied hard and I got a little drunk, but it was all good!

So time for some updates. The new job is going swimmingly. Everyone in the broadcast department is wonderful and I am learning a lot. I am no longer a lowly bottom feeder... I have a real title and a nice cushy desk job. That isn't to say I will be staying here forever. You all know this is just until my book deal goes through. ...And if you want to be mentioned in my dedication, you'll have to be supportive. None of this "you can't do it" or "it's a long shot" talk.

I have discovered that working w/ all women (or almost all women) in this department leads to WAY more gossip. For some reason, it is as if this dept. knows all. I get all the juicy dirt... just by eavesdropping! Ha! I loves it!!!

Decorating your office is tricky sometimes. Many don't care how their space looks, just so long as they get their job done... and in essence, I agree that that is the most important thing. However... I feel that one needs to work in a clean/organized/bright environment in order to "feel" good about their work. It may not be true for some... but for me it is the case. I go so far as to have all my folders color coordinated by account, as well as have nice pictures up of my friends.

Is this a faux pas? I've heard displaying personal pictures in the work place can be viewed as unprofessional... what do you all think? I say screw it... I need something to remind me that work isn't life... I DO have a life outside this fabulously decorated cube!

So... back to the beginning... my party was fun. As I said earlier, I was a tad drunk. I don't drink heavily often, but when it happens... I just let loose. I was at one point dancing in the cage and on a pole (w/ my clothes on you perverts!). So were most of my friends, but sadly I do think there are pictures of it somewhere. We'll just have to cross our fingers that they will never surface ;-)
All in all, it was a good night. I know I stumbled into the house and called a few people, don't remember what I said, but I hope it was nice and that you all had a good laugh at my famous drunk dials. If you aren't careful, I will drunk dial the people on YOUR phone... trust me, it's been known to happen.

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!! It is my sister's b-day today... she also starts her new job! Congrats and have a great day! YOU ARE OLD!!! 25!!!

We gonna party like it's my birthday!

2005-11-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

AHHHH my fav. holiday is here! My birthday! A day celebrated in honor of me! Oh geez, I sound like some sort of narcissist... I assure you all I'm not, but I love birthdays!

One of my co-workers just stopped down to say Happy B-day and give me a card. How nice of you... thanks Kelly! My sister sent me a really cute card and some great presents... Thanks Steff!!! I have also gotten a card from "numbers" who comments here often... Thanks so much for the card! You are very sweet! And now I know your real name!!!

I hope everyone is doing great, and if you all aren't doing much Saturday, we are all goin' out to celebrate my 23rd year at Divine in Ypsilanti. Sorry for all you out of state-ers... this bar is in Michigan.

See you all later! 23!!!!!!!!

Oprah is better than you!

2005-11-01T13:15:00.000-05:00

She truly is! I mean, I know many don't like her because she acts like she is Christ herself, or that sometimes she gets up on a soap box to preach her beliefs...

...but so what?!? She has been on air for, what has it been now, 20 years. She has done so much good, donating to causes and charities, making people's dreams come true, giving away free cars (free cars people!!)(p.s... i know Pontiac actually donated the cars, but damn, she orchestrated the whole ordeal), and is now helping find child molesters (and is succeeding more than the FBI has).

Yes, it is true that many of us in our own lives help do this (w/ the exception of the cars) and probably could and would do more if we had "Oprah Money", but she has gone above and beyond what someone in her position has to do. People can say all the mean things about Oprah as they like, but my feelings will stay the same. Oprah... you complete me! hahahaha

I am a little disappointed w/ this season thus far (w/ a few exceptions). She has been featuring too many celebrities and not enough issues. She is only 2 months into the season and I'll bet 95% of her episodes were w/ celebs. Now, y'all know I love the celebs and celeb gossip... but my Oprah Time is a time for substance. Yes I read the news and read books and learn... but Oprah teaches me to think deeper and make a difference.

I was thinking the other day (surprise surprise! ha), and thought of a good premise for a book. The character could be an author trying to get her book onto Oprah's book club. You think I'd be able to get onto Oprah's bookclub w/ a premise like that? hahahaha I would hope so! Check for it in bookstores in Dec. 2006 (j/k). My dream is to one day achieve that. Yes, a Noble Prize would be nice, but being on Oprah's book club... now THAT is some exposure. The book she recently picked has risen to the top of every major booklist out there (including New York Times).

Oprah really does make dreams come true...

P.s... my first day in the new position is tomorrow. I am so excited! Mostly for the bigger paycheck... but for the experience too, I guess.

My favorite holiday...

2005-10-27T12:35:00.000-05:00

... is my Birthday!!! Which is coincidentally approaching!

I love love love birthdays. Many don't make big deals out of birthdays once they pass the age of getting Barbies from grandma... but me and my family go all out. Everyone gets a card from everyone... presents/$$$ is flowin' like wine, dinner, excitement, attention all on that person!

I am a Scorpio, so you know i love being the center of attention. I don't understand the need or inclination to ignore one's b-day. For women (and some men) many don't want to reveal how old they are, so they decide to not mention their b-day to anyone, hoping it just won't come. I don't understand a society where growing older (and wiser I might add) is looked on by the masses as shameful. All should be celebratory that they made it another year here on earth... here are the wrinkle/laugh marks and battle scars to prove it. Aging is a part of life, why not enjoy it. Banana Clips has already embraced her mismatched place on this Earth... you should too!

Just to you know... November 3rd I will be embarking on my 23rd year of existence... if you want to wish me well on this journey, all gifts are accepted, especially ones from my Amazon.com wishlist ;-) Hee Hee

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/3H19YW1OQKUPK

Follow Up...

2005-10-26T12:35:00.000-05:00

My family and I went to Alcatraz to take an audio tour. It is pretty funny to take a tour in that matter, especially when you don't start your tape at the same time as your group. All of a sudden you are standing there all together, then one of you just up and walk away. It is pretty funny, pondering why they just left, then your tape says, "Now walk down the hall and turn left." Then it all makes sense.

My sister took some pretty cool pictures in the cell house. There is one that turned out to look like there is a ghostly face in the corner of it. The scary part about it is that there was nothing near her (no lights, nothing to cause the foggy apparition).

Sunday I said goodbye to my sister, Dave (her fiance) and Sadie... the crazy puppy. It was sad to leave, I didn't even get to go in the pool (we did go see the Full House house... it was pretty surreal).

I got on the plane at around 10:30pm PST and was crammed into my seat. Immediately after take off, the lady in front of me leans her chair back, making it impossible to but the screen of my laptop up enough to watch the rest of "Felicity" without being very uncomfortable. After my laptop battery ran out (2 hours...) I decided to turn off my light (like the rest of the plane who was sleeping) and listen to my iPod (Jimmy) and try to doze off for the rest of the 5 hour flight. No such luck. It was the most uncomfortable plane ride I've ever been on. First of all, the chick sitting next to me kept silently burping, so I'd get a surprise whiff of a unidentified hot dog smell every ten mins. Then, to make the flight even THAT more enjoyable, instead of having the air blowing out the teeny tiny vents, they decided to blow the heat on full blast. Not only could I NOT sleep... I was sweating and trying to breathe through my mouth as as not to have to use my vomit bag... damn chick next to me!!!

When we arrived, I was the first person to jump up and grab my bag to get the hell off the plane. By this time it was 6:45am EST. I paid the $60 for the long term parking... ouch, and headed out on my way. Luckily I was not going to work, but I still got stuck in rush hour heading home. When I arrived to my bedroom door at 7:30am EST... I promptly took a nose-dive into my nice cool bed and drifted off to a wondrous sleep... until 4:30pm.

Now I'm back at work, tired, but anxious to start my new job. I'll be starting that new position one week from today. I'm nervous, but I am welcoming the change. Finally I will have a job where I won't have to literally run all over the damn building. I don't even think I'll be running into Banana Clips anytime soon!

I'll catch ya lata!

San Francisco

2005-10-22T13:51:00.000-05:00

So I'm here... sitting in my sister's new apartment with her dog going crazy.

It is weird, having her live here and not back in Michigan. I wish I'd be able to come out here more often, but I fear my financial situation won't allow that but once a year. Luckily this year it was on my parents.

The flight out here was uneventful. I expected to get bumped up to first class, but alas there were too many people that showed up. Damn. Luckily my mom switched seats with me because there was no one seated between her and my dad. The plane was chocked full of dip-shits who put their coats and small bags in the overhead compartment instead of under their seats, which forced my mom, dad, and I to check out carry on bags which we so carefully pack so as to avoid this exact request. We got our bags back ok... but I feared it would be a repeat of the famous "Wait For My Luggage For 10 Hours Disaster" of 2004.

On the plane, the flight attendant approached a middle eastern looking man who had shoulder-length curly hair and said, "Have you ever seen the show LOST? You look like Saieed... don't worry, it's a complement." What? He looked like Saieed because he was middle eastern? I was just surprised by the comment in this day an age with all our awareness of political correctness. The ironic part is, I felt myself judging her for saying something like that, but remembered before we got on the plane saying to myself, "Damn... that guy looks like Saieed."

We arrived at my sister's apartment at 10:30pm PST (1:30am EST) and we were promptly greeted by her crazy dog Sadie.

I don't even know how to begin describing this cute dog. She is a Labrodoodle (Her mom was a full sized poodle and her dad was a golden lab). This new designer breed was created to bring the non-shedding-ness (hahaha not a word) of a poodle and the cute looks of a golden lab together to create this wild-haired cute mess of a dog! She looks like a golden lab who stuck her paw in a socket. Her hair on her back is a crazy wild mohawk, her ears are floppy and adorable... and her face, I can't describe it. There is one drawback to this adorable animal...

See, Sadie has two settings... Off and Crazy. There is no in between for her. She either is running around trying to jump on you and lick you, or she is dead asleep. It is hilarious because she goes between these two setting with a moments notice. Right now, she is Off... a second ago, I could barely type because she was jumping on me. I'm going to blame all my misspelled words and typos on her today ;-)

Today we will all be going to San Francisco (my sister lives just outside the city) to go to Alcatraz (the old prison) and to go to dinner and a comedy show. I'm excited because I haven't been to San Fran in a while. I will be enjoying the food, wine, atmosphere... for another day and a half...then it's back to my life in Mich... boring as usual.

Hope all is well with everyone... and I'll see ya on the flip side!

~Peace~

p.s~ There was a girl at the airport (in her 20s) wearing a SCRUNCHY!!! I a scrunchy folks... isn't California supposed to be somewhat of a fashion capital? Hahahaha! If I see any Banana Clips, I'll let you know!

Drum roll please...

2005-10-20T09:36:00.000-05:00

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... back up a sec... I interviewed for a job at my company. It is in the broadcast department (similar to the job I interviewed for but didn't get a few months ago). I will no longer be known to the world as a lowly Account Coordinator (aka Gopher). I am now a Talent Specialist. Fancy huh?

Basically I will be dealing with the Talent (duh!) (actors). I will be dealing with them, their managers, and their contracts. I LOVE knowing what people get paid... and gosh darn it... that is my new job! hahaha

Sorry to keep y'all on the edge of your pretty little seats... but I felt that if I told anyone I was even interviewing, I'd jinx it. The only one who knew I interviewed was my sis (shout out Steff). I'm very excited to start my new position... I will start on Nov. 2nd (day before my 23rd b-day... yay!).

So, there you have it. Nothing to get your panties in a twist about, but it is damn sure exciting to me!

PEACE!

p.s... yes there was a slight pay increase... no, I'm NOT gonna tell you how much I make!! hee hee ;-)

Nervous

2005-10-18T14:34:00.000-05:00

Waiting around sucks. I'm sitting around today waiting for something to happen that many are telling me will happen, yet I haven't heard anything yet. The anticipation is killing me. I'm getting the pains in the stomach, sweaty palms, can't-sit-still attitude. I'm a mess.

But I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing... that's what I did last time. I don't want to be let down again...

Nerves... what a bitch!

Ummm... yeah

2005-10-13T13:03:00.000-05:00

Today I witnessed some weird shit. This morning at the gas station I was going inside to pay and was standing in line (sorry.. I hate saying "on line"... it just sounds weird to me). The guy in front of me was twitching and muttering weird phrases to himself. The lady behind me was swaying to the music (and by swaying, I mean clapping and snapping, the whole Four Tops routine). It was like these two were Siamese twins joined at the crazy.

Runnin' into walls...

2005-10-12T12:26:00.000-05:00

I think my depth perception is off. I swear, every time (no really... every time) I turn a corner, I run into the wall. It is ridiculous, especially since I do it constantly at the office. It is mainly when I'm turning right (then an immediate left). My vision is a normal 20/20. No need for glasses, contacts, or lasik. I guess I just don't have what it takes to turn a corner in a normal fashion.

Another odd quirk of mine I guess...

Sometimes I feel like this happens to me not only in a literal sense, but in a figurative one as well. In my life, I know how I want things to go, and I know how to get them done, but I just keep runnin' into walls. Example: my career. I know that advertising is not where I want to be. I know that I want to write a book and get published. I know how to go about doing so, but something is stopping me. I am making a right turn (then an immediate left) and am smacking my arm on the corner of the wall (looking like I'm drunk). Getting your bearings enough to walk like a sober individual as well as getting your bearings to sit and write a book are essentially the same. You need concentration and motivation. Motivation you say? To try not to walk into a wall? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Part of my laziness to make the full right turn is what is causing me to slam into the wall. If I were to just concentrate and motivate myself not to take short cuts, things would be different. My shoulder wouldn't be sore, that's for sure. Same goes for the book. My laziness is contributing to me not getting it done. I have hundreds of ideas on how it should go, new titles, characters, story arcs and twists... but coming home from work and my workouts just leave me drained to the point where all I want to do is take a shower, eat some dinner, and curl up on my bed and watch the LOST season one DVDs (new favorite show). If I really want to leave this job and get my dream... motivation and concentration need to be in the forefront of my mind.

If today I don't run into any walls, I will take it as a sign to get moving on the book.

OR I should just get started anyways... I think I'll just DO it.